Disguised Angel
by kawaii gurl-11
Summary: Sakura found out that she has a tumor and because of that she lost the will to live. Until one day Syaoran came into her life. This story is full of SS and ET
1. Prolouge

Disguised Angel  
  
Disclaimer: Although I wanted to claim this anime I can't. Card Captor Sakura doesn't belong to me.  
  
Summary: Sakura is a sweet girl who lives in a perfect world. Everything changes one day when she received horrible news that would change her life forever.  
  
Note: There is no magic in here and the characters might be OOC. The story will start at Sakura's POV  
  
Prologue  
  
I was snuggling at the soft covers of my bed when I suddenly felt something cold on my face.  
  
"HOEEEEEEEEEEE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Sheesh this is really a great way to start your day, being splashed by a bucket of cold water. I haven't experienced this since.wait. I looked around to see who is he culprit when my emerald eyes landed on brown one's.  
  
"Oni chan?" I said to the person who is trying to hide a blue bucket behind him.  
  
"Who else do you expect, Yukito?" at that statement I blushed bad. As you can see, Yukito is my former crush and my stupid brother's best friend. He has this silvery white hair and wears glasses, which made him a lot more kawaii. He is kind; loves to eat a LOT and sweet. My crush on Yukito didn't last long because it turned out or, should I say he pointed out, that I just only love him as a father. Heartbreaking, but don't worry I am way over it.  
  
Now I am straying to the problem, why is oniichan here? He isn't supposed to be in here, he is supposed to be at his home with his wife, Kaho. Gosh, I forgot to tell you who is my annoying brother, his name is Touya. He is older than I am, he has a brown eyes and black hair like my father. He could be annoying a LOT but sometimes he could be the perfect brother a girl could ever had and that is why I love him so much.  
  
"You know what eventhough your 20 you are still a late riser, kaijuu." He said with a smirk. That does it before he could act I kicked him in his shin. "Your aim is still as good as ever." He said slowly in pain.  
  
"So what brings you in here?" I said to my brother.  
  
"I'm here to visit. Now fix yourself up lunch is ready." He said with a mysterious smile and went outside.  
  
I went to the bathroom took a bath after that I looked at the mirror and saw my reflection looking back at me. A girl with the layered auburn hair and a pair sparkling emerald eyes is smiling back at me. By the way, my name is Sakura Kinimoto. I am twenty years old and I am taking my last year of college at Tomoeda University. They always say that I live in a perfect life. I have a loving family, many friends, popular in school, always top in the class, and I live in a middle class life but I always feel something is missing. Something that make feel alone and lonely, but that doesn't matter right?  
  
I went downstairs to have lunch with my family. My dad, Fujitaka, sat at the head of the table, while my mom, Nadeshiko, sat at his left. I sat beside my mom. Across from me sat onee-san, Kaho, with onii-chan on her right side. Both Kaho and Touya wore a funny smile, which tells me something is up.  
  
"Itadakimas." All of us said.  
  
"What's with the funny smile? Both of you are scaring me. Something's up right?" I said to both of them.  
  
"Well Sakura-chan, wouldn't it be nice if somebody call you Auntie?" onee- san said to me.  
  
"What?" I said innocently I don't get it. Mom and dad are both acting strange they are congratulating Onii-chan and Onee-san. Then it struck me, I'm going to be an Auntie!  
  
"This is great! Congratulations!" I said with a big smile. "So that's why you came all the way from Kyoto just to say that." But I was cut short when the phone rang. I answered it and found out it was my best friend, Tomoyo.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Sakura-chan, I thought you are coming over today?" Tomoyo said with her sweet voice.  
  
"Oh I forgot but don't worry I'll be over there around three, Okay?"  
  
"Okay it's just that I can't wait for you to try this new outfit I made for you." Tomoyo said. Tomoyo is my second cousin and my best friend. Her mother Sonomi and my mother are cousins so that makes us second cousins. Tomoyo is crazy when it comes to videotaping me and designing clothes. Her designs are shown at the Fashion Channel but because of her, I was forced to model her designs. It's not that I don't want to do it but I am shy when it comes to these modeling things. However, Tomoyo insisted that if they don't include me in one of their models she would not let her designs be aired at the show. So, that's why I have no choice because it will be such a waste if her designs aren't shown in TV.  
  
Here I am standing in the middle of Tomoyo's room wearing the new outfit she made.  
  
She said her motif for the next show would be "Royalty".  
  
"Kawaii!" she screamed. "It really looks great on you. You really look like a real princess." I blushed at her statement.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I just wish there is a prince charming here for you to comment on how beautiful you look."  
  
"To.to.Tomoyo-chan!" I was now blushing harder than ever.  
  
"Why what's wrong? Since we were kids men, have been falling head over feet on you but you took no notice on them. I was now starting to wonder if you would die single."  
  
"It's just that I feel that they are not right for me you know. I mean I wanted to fall in-love with a person who really loves me for who I am not for what I am. It's like my heart is telling me to wait just a little bit longer."  
  
"Your right, but what if he comes when you are an old woman?"  
  
"Something's telling me that he will come sooner than you think." I said with a smile. After that I felt like the whole world is turning around me and I started to feel an excruciating pain in my head. It's as if my head is going to explode. Then the next thing I knew my vision is turning slowly to darkness.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE  
  
So how do you like it? I still suck at grammar. This is my first sad story so be nice. 


	2. Chapter 1

Disguised Angel  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS or anything related to it.  
  
CHAPTER 1: SHATTERING NEWS  
  
I woke up and saw nothing but white. Is this heaven? Am I dead? That thought terrified me. I started to panic when I saw my mother beside me.  
  
"Sakura-chan, are you okay?" my mother said while holding my hand. Her hands are so soft and warm. I'm not yet dead, that's wonderful news.  
  
"Yeah." I said to her. I started to notice the people who are in the room with me. There is my family and Tomoyo who still have tear-stained face.  
  
"Sakura-chan good thing you are awake." Tomoyo said while she is crushing me in a bear hug.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, I can't breathe." I said in a muffled voice.  
  
"I'm sorry Sakura."  
  
"That's okay." I gave her a reassuring smile but the weird thing is that her face grew sadder at each passing moment. Not only her but also everyone in the room has the same facial expression as Tomoyo. Now things are getting scarier at each passing moment.  
  
"What's wrong with you guys? It's not as though I'm dying right at this moment." I said trying to keep the humor in this place. Instead, I made onee-chan, Tomoyo, and mom cry. Something's wrong in here.  
  
"Mom what's wrong? Why are you crying?" mom didn't answered me she just kept on crying. Getting frustrated I asked my father what's wrong.  
  
"Onii-chan?" but he just looked down at his feet.  
  
"Dad?" he did the same thing as onii-chan did. Now I'm getting scared and frustrated at each passing moment. "Could somebody tell me what's wrong in here!" at that moment I felt dizziness coming over me and started to feel my stomach turning upside down. Before I knew it, I vomited at my bed and felt like I couldn't move.  
  
"Sakura-chan!" they all said to me at the same time. My vision is blocked by their worried faces over mine. They continued on calling a name, which I can't seem to know, a name called Sakura. Then I fell into darkness once more.  
  
~?~  
  
I woke up to an unfamiliar place. It is an open field filled with peonies and cherry blossom trees. I am wearing a white sundress at that time.  
  
"Where am I?" I said loudly. I started to walk to look for a familiar place when I finally gave up. I sat down on one of the cherry tree to rest up. Weird, because I felt like all of my problems vanishing like a swirl of smoke. I closed my eyes to feel the calming air that surrounds me. When I opened my eyes, I saw another figure walking towards me. I watched closely who this person is. As this figure got nearer, I realized that the person is a he. He knelt in front of me and held my hand into his. His hands are so warm that I wanted to hold forever. I can't see his face clearly because it was shadowed by sunlight but I am sure of one thing he has a body of a model. He began to speak to me in a soft tone that made me think of a singing angel. Weird huh?  
  
"No matter what may happen don't lose hope. I will always be there for you. Remember that."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"You will soon know in time, Sakura." After he said that, everything went bright and the next moment he is gone.  
  
~?~  
  
I woke up to the same plain white room. I looked to my right and saw some weird looking people wearing a white coat and writing on something.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Oh so your awake. How are feeling right now?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Glad to hear that, by the way my name is Dr. Watsuki." The man said to me then he turned to the lady beside him. "Ms. Ayako, could you please tell her family the Sakura is now awake and let them all in."  
  
"Yes doctor." Then the lady went out.  
  
"So how long do you have these headaches and dizziness?" the doctor asked to me.  
  
"Well, I have these since two weeks ago but they aren't head splitting as they are right now."  
  
"Hmmm.I see." Then the door suddenly opened and my family came in one-by- one.  
  
"Sakura honey, are you okay?" my mom asked me but. "Sakura?" I said, and then I suddenly remembered. "Oh, how could I forget my name, silly me. Yup." Everyone gave me a weird glance then my brother spoke up.  
  
"Doctor what's wrong with her?" I looked at Dr. Watsuki and noticed that he has a sad expression.  
  
"We've done the test over Sakura and it is now proven that she really has a tumor on her brain. There's a 60/40 chance that the tumor might be removed because it is now in stage two of it. Meaning the tumor is now in a critical condition and the position of it is near the spinal column," said the doctor solemnly. "Mental confusion, headaches, dizziness, is some of the symptoms of brain tumor." My mind became blank after he said that. It can't be happening to me.  
  
"Please leave me alone." I said softly to everyone. I thought they were going to protest but they silently went away from my room one-by-one.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
GOSH, that was so short. I'm so sorry. I have this stuff at college to do so that left me no time to do my fic. Hope you understand.  
  
The main event has yet to come. I know this is still boring but R&R. 


	3. Chapter 2

Disguised Angel  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, how many time do I have to say that?  
  
Chapter 2: Motivation fails  
  
It's been two days since I received the horrible news. Two days since I locked myself from everyone locked in this cold white prison. I still couldn't believe that this is happening to me. I mean what did I do to deserve this kind of thing. This is so unfair. Life is so unfair. I looked at my window outside and saw two lovebirds chirping happily in the perch of the tree. I was so engrossed on watching them that I didn't notice a single tear fell down on my face. I wish I could be just as the birds outside, free from worries, from everything. I was interrupted from my thoughts when a knock came to my door. I quickly brushed my face with my hand. The door opened slightly and my mother went inside silently with a smile on her face.  
  
"Good morning Sakura!" I just looked at her for a moment a returned my gaze at the window. I don't know why but I just couldn't smile back to her and say, "Good morning mom, its such a wonderful day today isn't it?"  
  
"Such a nice day today isn't it?" I didn't answer her back nor look at her. It breaks my heart to see my mother's sad face. As I see her sad face, it made me realized what a waste daughter I am. I didn't deserve to be her daughter because I brought her great pain. Touya once told me that I am an answered prayer to mom. He said that mom has been praying for a daughter for years and I came along. However, that dream of hers will be taken away because of this tumor. A tumor that took away everything I have and she has.  
  
"I brought someone who really wants to see you." Someone who wants to see me? I wonder who could it be? My mother went to the door and ushered someone inside. I was surprised to see him.  
  
"Hi." He said to me with a smile on his face. I just stared at him not really believing he's here. Thousands of questions are running through my head. For the first time in two days, I opened my mouth to speak.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I called yesterday and found everything out." Eriol Hirigisawa is my best friend when it comes to guys. In fact, he's the only guy friend I have. Eriol has a dark blue hair and blue eyes with glasses that made him look great. Maybe that's why Tomoyo loves him. If I were on my usual self I would say to him, "Hey Eriol, have you already told Tomoyo?" or "So are you and Tomoyo are a couple already?" but I'm not.  
  
"So, how are you right now?"  
  
"What do you think?" I said sarcastically. I looked at him straight in the eye and saw the effects that my words did to him. He quickly covered that emotion with a smile. "I'm sorry." I said to him feeling quite guilty over what I did to him. He was just only trying to cheer me up. I envied him for being normal and free. Free, that word reminds me of the birds I saw a while ago. My gaze was once again gone back to my window. I really appreciated their visit today but I really wanted to be alone for now. "I really appreciated your visit today." I said quietly.  
  
Again, silence dawned onto us.  
  
"I brought you some flowers." Eriol said cheerily. It was a bouquet of different flowers. It has lily, daisies, anemones, and peaches but there is one flower that caught my attention and that are peonies. "I didn't know you like peonies, honey?" my mother suddenly said to me.  
  
"I was just intrigued because they remind me of something." I said. Little did I know a little smile was forming on my face. How could such a simple flower brought a smile to my face or is it the other way around? The man who said that he will be there when the time come? Somehow, that promise he made kept me on my sanity.  
  
"Oh, well that's nice." My mother said while putting the flowers in the vase beside the table in my bed. "May I ask what is this something?" I don't know how to answer her because I think she might not understand or think that I am crazy.  
  
"It's time for you, Ms. Kinimoto to get some rest." The nurse came just in time. I just nod my head in response. Then she injected something on me and slowly I beginning to feel drowsy.  
  
"Sweet dreams Sakura." Both my mother and Eriol said.  
  
~@~  
  
"Thank you auntie for accompanying me today. I would have asked Tomoyo today but for some reason I couldn't reach her." Eriol said while blushing.  
  
"It's not a big deal for me because I too am going to visit Sakura today. Fujitaka went to his office to arrange his leave for the next few days while Touya and Kaho went to have a checkup." Nadeshiko said.  
  
"I really do hope that Sakura will be okay." Eriol said.  
  
'I was surprised to see a different Sakura today. The Sakura I saw today is just like a stone. Her hair is disheveled and her face is pale. However, one thing that surprised me is her eyes, they are dull green. They have no emotion in it. I really wish Sakura would be back to her normal self. I hate to see her like this.'  
  
"I'm really sorry for Sakura's lack of enthusiasm today. This is isn't like her." Nadeshiko said while her voice is in the verge of tears. "She is.my.my baby.will be all right someday right? She will be back from her cheerful self. I know it. she's never going to leave us, right. Nothing will take her from.me." Nadeshiko broke down crying on the floor while Eriol is trying to calm her down.  
  
~@~  
  
I opened my eyes and found myself in the fields once again. It is now filled with different sorts of flowers, not just only peonies but also lilies, daisies, carnation, and many more.  
  
"Sakura." Someone called from behind me. I turned around and saw him standing under the cherry blossom tree. I slowly went to him hoping I could see his face much clearly. Much to my disappointment, his face is shadowed because of his messy hair. His messy chocolate hair can be seen from where I stand but not his face. At least I know what is the color of his hair. I stood in front of him looking at him curiously.  
  
"How did you know what will going to happen to me?" I asked him demandingly.  
  
"I will be a part of heart someday and I don't want you to give up your life and hope because of it. I want you to be prepared and be strong on what will happen someday because I care for you."  
  
Those words took me by surprise. Those words he said to me have a truth in it. If he didn't warned me I would have committed suicide after they have left me in that room.  
  
"I know that things haven't been going in your way but don't worry I will be here for you in every step of the way and everything will be fine." He said as he held my face in his warm hands.  
  
"How?"  
  
"You'll see." Then everything became bright.  
  
~@~  
  
"Poor girl." A voice said beside me. I pretended to be asleep to hear what are they talking about.  
  
"Yeah, the news about the tumor came a big blow for her." Another familiar voice said which I realized is my nurse.  
  
"Oh my, she is so young to have this. I heard she has a great life before she learned she has a tumor."  
  
"That's right, she is a popular achiever in school."  
  
"I see. So, what's her situation?"  
  
"60/40. The position of the tumor is dangerous. If we attempt to take it out there might be a chance that she will be saved or not. I wonder what will happen to that girl."  
  
"Me too." The other lady who turned out to be a nurse because I took a sneak peak on her sighed sadly. "Well I have to go to the other room, bye." Then she left quietly. Minutes later I pretended to wake up. The nurse greeted me with a smile of pity.  
  
"Oh, good morning Ms. Sakura."  
  
It's morning already? I didn't notice the time when I went to sleep.  
  
"Can I go outside?" I said softly. Somehow, that conversation really dampened my good mood. I was beginning to think if the guy in my dreams is a liar. My life has turned from bad to worse.  
  
"Sure, but you can only in the gardens."  
  
I went to the garden and saw a bench in there. I sat in there and began to stare in the space. How could I be strong if everyone keeps on reminding me what a pitiful person I am? If this is what he meant by "everything will be all right" then I don't want it. I would rather end my life than be pitied.  
  
"I didn't know there would be someone in here in this early." A voice broke my reverie. I turned to look who is it and tell him to go away but shock came through me. It was he, the guy in my dreams.  
  
Author's note:  
  
I'm sooo sorry this took me so long to update. I've been so busy with College life. It's been a killer year.  
  
AnimeObsessionFantasy - to tell you the truth he already popped in the story.  
  
moezy-chan - here's a new suspense for you.  
  
Sally - Good guess in there about him. Well see about Sakura. I hope my e- mail reaches you.  
  
Dampilleta - I'm sorry about confusing you in there. You see I really suck at English because my teacher is so boring when she teaches. Hey, it's a secret okay.  
  
TiFfa - awww shucks you flatter me. Tnx for the review.  
  
See yah. 


	4. Chapter 3

Sorry for the delay I don't own CCS Okay.  
  
Chapter 3: Escape  
  
It has to be him because I know that deep voice, the deep voice that gives me faith and hope. I was about to sent him away when realization came through me. At last, I could see my angel face-to-face. I never realize that he could be so handsome in personal. He has a messy chocolate hair; a well-built body but there is one thing I really like about him. His eyes. His amber eyes. I don't know how did it happen but the moment I looked into his eyes the time suddenly stops. However, every magical moment has to end.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that? Like I came from some mental institution and came out with a weird sign like "Hey, look at me I'm a maniac." Sheesh." the guy said in an annoyed tone and looked at me with those cold eyes of his.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that looking at you is a crime nowadays." I said sarcastically. I am so wrong on thinking that he is the guy in my dreams. The guy in my dreams isn't sarcastic and rude. I am so stupid. I stood up immediately and started to walk away but he stopped me.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry. I just had a bad day today and I know it is not right to vent out my frustrations on you." He said to me sincerely with his eyes softening. Well, everyone deserves to have a second chance right. Oh what am I thinking, not everyone deserves a second chance because if everyone deserve it then God should have given me a second chance right now. A second chance that would give me an opportunity to fulfill my dreams and I wouldn't be suffering like this.  
  
"Apology accepted." I said coldly. I just don't want anyone to get close to me right now because if they do they would end up just like Tomoyo, Eriol, and my family.  
  
"Hey, I already said I'm sorry but why are you still mad at me?" he asked me. Maybe I should loosen up a bit. It's not as if were going to meet again right?  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry too for being a snob."  
  
"That's okay. So, what brings you here?"  
  
"Change of view." I said simply. I have to get away from here but I just couldn't do it. It's like my feet are glued to the ground. What's wrong with me?  
  
"Your right, the view in here is breath taking." He said as he looks to the distance. I really should go right now but why can't I willed myself to move. It is just as I want to stay here with him. That thought shocked and baffled me.  
  
"So what are you doing in here?" Great I can't even control my stupid mouth. Someday I just have to kill my curiosity. However, I couldn't help it. He doesn't look like a patient nor a doctor or a nurse.  
  
"I'm just visiting a friend." He said to me simply as he gazes on to the clear blue sky. Well maybe a minute or two wont kill me. "So how about you?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious." I said sarcastically. I could feel my anger rising up again.  
  
"Well there are two choices from the way you dress a visitor or a patient." I looked at myself and saw that what he said has a point. Before I went out, I changed my white gown. I wore my light blue dress that my mother bought during a visit.  
  
I went out here hoping I could have a break from everything but I was wrong. I pray that somebody would help me get out of this thing.  
  
"Syaoran! Let's go." A lady with a chocolate hair called to the man beside me.  
  
"Coming!" he shouted back to the woman. "Well I have to go, my sister is calling me. By the way my name is Syaoran Li." He stretched out his hand to me. I looked at it suspiciously at first then I accepted it.  
  
"Sakura Kinimoto." With that, he left. Silence dawned to me once again. How could I be so stupid to think that he was my angel? Well if he is my angel.ummm, wait what am I thinking I already said to myself that he is no angel but I know there's a part of me thinking that he is my angel. I still need proof on that. Syaoran was right about the view in here. It is simply breathtaking. "I wish I could do something to ease the burden I carry." I said to no one in particular. Then a thought struck me. I hope this will work. If not then I don't know if I could make it through  
  
~@~  
  
Here I am sitting on my white prison waiting for my mother to come. As I was patiently waiting for her, a knock came to my door. My mother came in with a practiced smile on her face.  
  
"Good Afternoon dear. How was your day?"  
  
"Fine." I said softly to her. "Mom?" I continued weakly.  
  
"Yes dear?"  
  
"Can I ask you a favor?"  
  
"Of course you can. Now what does my baby want?" she asked softly a she stroked my hair.  
  
"Can you take me home?"  
  
That question left her speechless. I was beginning to have an image of staying her all my life. I looked away from her not really wanting to her answer anymore until she spoke in a cracked but soft tone. "Maybe a change of view could do you good. I was starting to wonder how enjoy yourself at a place like this." She said with a smile.  
  
"Thanks mom." I said with a small smile.  
  
~@~  
  
At last, I'm home I couldn't believe how much I miss this place. I thought I was never going to return home but good thing mom and Tomoyo put up a good fight with the doctor. I checked my room once more; nothings changed here not even a slight one. My figurines, books, clothes, are still the way I left it. Maybe I could forget everything that has happened to me these past few days by taking back my life and I will just treat my sickness as a nightmare. I looked at my window and notice something different. I saw a big truck across from our home. Someone must have bought the house across from ours but who could it be? The house is so big and expensive that nobody dared to buy it because of it. The past owner of it moved out because they have found a better lot at New Jersey. I decided to look at the workers move the things out from their truck when I saw a man came out from a car. The man who stepped-out from the car is him. Syaoran Li.  
  
R&R 


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Escaping Everything  
  
The guy I met a while ago is moving from our house. I couldn't believe it. As I was looking at him, he somehow noticed me and looked at my direction. At first, he seems to rack his brain on where he saw me then realization dawned on him. He waved at me and went inside. The moment I saw him I felt something inside me. It is as if something has just awoken from a deep slumber. My musings were cut short by my mother.  
  
"Looks like we will going to have a new neighbor." She said as she walked beside me. I just ignored because my full attention is on the boy whom I just hours ago. My mother seems to notice this too that's why she gave a remark about him. "He's a cute guy."  
  
That really took me by surprise. "You're right I mean.what makes you say that I'm looking at Li."  
  
"Oh so you know his name." She seemed amused about it. "One thing, I didn't say any particular person you just jumped to the conclusion. Who knows I might be talking about the driver in the truck." She said slyly. My mother is such a sly one on that. I just ignored her reply but I could feel my cheeks burning up.  
  
"That reminds me, would like to come with me to welcome them?"  
  
"No."  
  
~@~  
  
I don't know how did my mother did it but here I am standing in front of their house alone. I slowly pressed the doorbell then waited for a while. A girl I also saw a while ago answered the door. "Hi!"  
  
"Hi, my mother wants me to give you this as a welcome gift."  
  
"Really?" I gave her the dish, which is strawberry cheesecake. Suddenly she became hyperactive. "Oh my god! Strawberry Cheesecake, my favorite." She squealed happily. I was just standing here looking at her in an amused way. "Oh my, I'm so sorry. My name is Shiefa Li. Would you like to come in?" she suddenly blushed looked at me in a shy way.  
  
"Would it be a bother to you guys, I mean you might be fixing your stuff?" Now it's my turn to blush. I am not really used to this kind of thing.  
  
"Oh no, besides my stuff are already fixed in my room. Come in." She ushered me inside their house. The place is really magnificent and huge. What Shiefa told me is true everything is in place. We went to the living room, which is breathtaking. "How did you fix everything up so fast?  
  
"Well, some of the furniture in here were already placed and arranged yesterday. The truck you saw a while ago is just a few of our furniture." So, that explains everything. "I will leave you here for a while coz I still have to fix this cake."  
  
"Okay." Then she left me to wander around the place. The stuff in here is so cool. I looked at the glass figurines when one really caught my eye, an angel figurine. It is made of crystal that shines on the sun. This is no ordinary figurine because it is a male one. Its majestic wings were protecting something or someone. I squinted to look more closely and figured out it was a girl. So, this figurine is a guardian angel. This figurine really caught my eye.I don't know why but it seems to remind me of something special. I just can't seem to remember but the more I think about it the more my head hurt really badly. My vision is blurring slowly before me and I feel like the room is turning around. I feel like this has happened before. Back at Tomoyo's room.no.no please not here. Anywhere but here. When I heard some faint footsteps coming down the pain is going away slowly but not fully, because I can still feel it a little.  
  
"Hey sis, can I borrow this for." that voice sounded a lot familiar. I whirled around to see the speaker. It's Syaoran Li. "Hey, what's up!" he said with a questioning glance.  
  
"Fine." I said in an uncertainty and coldness in my voice because I got surprised. I guess he is thinking what am I doing in here.  
  
"So what brings you here?" he said while clutching a CD. I couldn't find my voice at that moment because I was so busy looking at him. He is wearing a black cargo pants and a blue sweatshirt. Why does he have to look so.so.sexy? After that, his question entered into my mind, that's when I noticed I looked must have looked embarrassing. "Umm.visiting."  
  
"Oh, your name is Kinimoto right?"  
  
"Yeah." Wow, he even remembered my name, "and yours is Li?" he just nodded. I don't know why but the pain in my head just came back. I tried to keep myself in balance so that he wouldn't know anything. He mustn't know, nobody must know. All of the sudden Li is beside me looking at me with those concerned eyes. "Are you okay?" as I said, nobody must know.  
  
"I'm just fine. It's just only migraine."  
  
"Wait here while I get you a medicine." He stood up and was about to go the kitchen when I stopped him.  
  
"Really I'm fine it's just only a minor headache. Besides, I've already took one back home. Believe me I'm fine." I said firmly and coldly. This guy is getting on my nerves. How much "fine" have I had to say just to make him understand? However, the truth is I'm not fine. The pain is killing me. Just then, Shiefa came in with the cake.  
  
"Oh this cake really looks delicious." She said while laughing. She stopped at her tracks when she saw me with Li. "I see you have met my little brother." She said still smiling. Slowly, that smile was wiped off her face. "Are you okay? You look a little pale right now." She asked in a concerned voice.  
  
"I'm fine." I said with a smile that wavers a bit. I really need to get out of this place before they could derive a conclusion. I glanced at the clock and an idea began to pop in my head. "Oh my I just remember I need to buy a.yarn. Mother really need it to.to.knit a socks." That was so lame but I am so desperate. "So bye." I didn't wait for them to reply because I know they will just insist on me staying here until I get better but the sad part is I don't. I went to the door and saw that my vision just couldn't get still for a moment. Good thing I still know how to open it. I went out and I felt like my head is going to explode any moment now. I was about to cross the road when everything around me is slowly turning to black. The last thing I saw before going into the dark world is those warm and concerned amber eyes that are looking back at me.  
  
~@~  
  
Everything has changed in my dream. The fields are gone it is now replaced by total darkness. Why couldn't I see anything in here? Where is he? I waited for a moment hoping that everything would dissolve and it would change into the fields that I like most. The scene really did change but not the fields that I was expecting to see, instead it showed me the hospital, the place that I hated to see. I saw Tomoyo walking right through me I was surprised because not only did she just walk through me but also she didn't even took notice of me.  
  
"Tomoyo!" I shouted but she doesn't hear me. Am I a ghost? No let's not think about that. I followed her inside and stopped right outside a door. She was about to knock but decided not to. Then Eriol came with a sad look in his face. The moment Tomoyo saw him she began to run into his arms and cry. Eriol hugged her tight and looked at the door.  
  
"Why.why does she have to go through this? I thought it is over now that she have found happiness with him but." Tomoyo said while crying. I break my heart to see her like this.  
  
"Sakura wouldn't like to see you crying my dear. It would break her heart to see you in this state," Eriol looked into her eyes and brushed away the tears with his thumb, "I know how you feel right now because she too is my friend but you know what I wouldn't like to see a beautiful face like yours filled with tears." Tomoyo blushed at his comment. "The only thing that we could do for Sakura is to be there for her and stay strong." Tomoyo smiled at him. The door opened after that and I saw myself coming out in that room looking pale and weak but I'm still smiling.  
  
Is this the future? Is the reason why Tomoyo is crying is that I am going to die? No, this can't be happening. I wouldn't let this happened. Just then, everything turned white. I know I am going to wake up any moment now. Pain and denial is stirring in my heart. Dreams aren't real.  
  
~@~  
  
"She's waking up." I heard a voice beside me said. I adjusted my eyes on my surroundings. "Hi sweetie, how are you feeling right now?" another voice said which I noticed is my mother. How did I end up here? Flashes of images appeared inside my head then I remembered what had happened. I fainted outside but how did I end up in here. Wait am I back in the hospital? Panic was starting to build inside my heart. I couldn't be back, that place is so horrible. I looked around saw I didn't saw the same four walled prison. Instead, I saw my old room. Relief came after panic. I didn't know what would I do if I were back in that place. I vividly remembered my dream and that's the reason why I don't want to be in that place.  
  
"Fine." I said weakly. If I fainted outside how did I end up here?  
  
"I decided to visit you today to have a chat and I found out what had happened. I was so scared at that moment I thought.I thought." Tomoyo said beside me. I never let her finish her sentence because I know what is it that she will going to say and I don't want to hear it.  
  
"Hey, I'm okay and nothings bad had happened right so you don't have to fret over it." I really hoped this would make them feel all right. At that moment, my father rushed in my room breathing heavily. It looks like he just ran a mile from a marathon race. The moment he saw me he crushed me in his arms. "Good thing your fine. God, I was so worried when your mother called me from work and told me that you fainted. I thought the worst, didn't you know that." I was too speechless to talk because after that he cried. This is the first time I ever saw my father cry and it is because of me. I am really a worst person alive.  
  
~@~  
  
I woke up at around 12:45am. I had this sudden urge to get a glass of water. I silently went outside and tiptoed downstairs. I was about to cross my parents room silently when I heard my mom crying. I stopped dead because I was wondering why my mother is crying at this time of night.  
  
"It's all my fault. If I hadn't brought her out in the hospital, none of this would had happened." I heard my mom said.  
  
"Don't blame yourself my dear, in or out of the hospital she would even faint like this afternoon." My dad said softly to my mom. I flattened my back to the wall while listening to them. I was on the verge of crying while listening to them. 


	6. ALERT!

I know this is so annoying but I would just like to tell you that I might post the next chappie late it is because of my finals. Oh why should the finals always torture us! Hehehehehe! Well, don't worry because once the finals is over I would post the rest of the chapters very fast. Ohohohohoho!  
  
AnimeObsessionFantasy: I don't get the "I wonder why?" review. I really hope you would like the next chapter.  
  
Geminikika1: I LOVE SAKURA! However, I love Syaoran much better. I would like tell you something, I was torn into thinking if whether I would kill her or not but right now, I have no plans on killing her yet.  
  
Sweet-captor: Thanks for the review.  
  
Your reviews really give me the inspirations and ideas so I would like you guys to review my story. 


	7. Crystallized Friendship

Chapter 5: Crystallized friendship  
  
I woke up feeling better today. I got out of my bed and went to look at my window. The sky is blue and the birds are chirping at the tree near my window. The flowers like lilacs, roses, daisies, and forget-me-not, in our garden has a wonderful view in my window. Syaoran's house across from ours doesn't look gloomy anymore. I saw Lindsey dressed in violet gardening clothes carefully tending her mini-garden. At the street, a newspaper boy passed by as he throws the newspapers at each houses doorstep, I just hoped his aim is good right now. Everything seems so different today. Perhaps, after what happened last night my troubled feelings calmed a little and made me see the world in a different view. It made me see that I should continue to live no matter how short mine is. There is also one thing I found out yesterday, eventhough I am physically alive there is a part of me had died.my happiness. I feel like a walking zombie or a person devoid of any emotion except for sadness and hurt. I'm afraid I couldn't return to back myself anymore. Wait, why am I worrying over things such as bringing my old self back? I am contented in living this way but.my heart tells me different.  
  
A knock came into my door and my mother came in quietly with a tired face. Eventhough she looks very tired she is still beautiful. Her long gray wavy with streaks of white hair and her emerald eyes, like mine, would fool you of her true age and would make you think of a heroine in a fairy tale. My mother really is beautiful inside out and also the greatest mom a girl could have but I'm afraid that if I keep on drowning myself from misery, my mom's angelic beauty and glow would be gone. I don't want my mother to suffer because of me. She silently walked to my side and smiled at me.  
  
"Good morning Sakura.how are you today?"  
  
Maybe if I would just pretend that I'm completely happy, everything would be fine. I put my face in the best happy smile I could muster. Eventhough if it is all a fake. At first, my mother was shocked then she smiled and hugged me tight.  
  
"I'm so glad that you smiled after all these past few days." Then she pulled me from her embrace to look at me. I can see some tears are starting to form from the corner of her eyes. "You know what I cooked your favorite breakfast, chocolate chip hotcake."  
  
"That's.umm.great." I said feeling a little guilty for fooling mom.  
  
"What's wrong? Don't you like those anymore?"  
  
"No.it's just that.umm.I.kinda miss that thing that I couldn't believe I'm eating those things again. You go ahead I'll just fix myself up." I said with a wobbly smile. I really hope my mother wouldn't notice it. She just smiled at me and left quietly. As soon as she left, I dropped my façade and put my face into a frown. I really feel bad whenever I lie to mom but.if this lie would just make her happy, eventhough I will feel terrible afterwards I would continue this act.  
  
I looked once more at my window and saw the sun shining happily. How could the weather be so gay if I'm feeling the opposite? But hey look on the bright side on my pretending, I might forget the idea that I have a tumor and live as I used to be.  
  
Right? Sigh.whom am I kidding?  
  
"Why me." I went to the bathroom to take a bath. I wore a white tank top with matching black flares. I was thinking of going to Tomoyo's house after breakfast.  
  
At the breakfast table, I just stared at my breakfast. In fact, I really don't want to eat right now but as I looked at my mom, who is eating quietly and pausing for a while to look at me with a smile on her face forced me to eat this dish. Slowly I eat the hotcake; I looked at mom and dad and noticed that they are extremely quiet today but nonetheless happy. The silence is starting to drive me nuts. Mom just looked at me again with a smile on her face while dad is reading his newspaper while drinking black coffee. If nobody is going to speak any moment, right now I would walk out in this room.  
  
"Have I told you that Kaho is going to have twins?" dad suddenly said as he put his newspaper down and smiled at me. Why are they smiling so much but good thing he finally said, something.wait twins?  
  
"No.that's wonderful." I said as I put my full attention to dad. I was thrilled by the news but I didn't truly smile.  
  
"How did you know that, honey?" mom asked dad.  
  
"Well this morning while you went upstairs to wake Sakura up, Touya called and told me the good news. That's not all; he said the twins are due somewhere near or on Christmas."  
  
"I hope it's a girl." I said softly, "So when she grows up Tomoyo would have a new model." I said as I picture Tomoyo measuring my niece waistline while rattling on and on about the fabrics she would use.  
  
If it really turned out to be a girl, maybe no one would be sad anymore if I pass away because my niece would immediately take my place in their hearts.  
  
"Well in my opinion it would be best if the twins would be both a boy and a girl." My mom said.  
  
"I agree with you, honey, but if the one of the twins turned out to be a girl...I wish her luck." My father said as his brown eyes sparkled with mischief and his mouth twitched in an annoying smile. Now I know where my brother had that smile.  
  
"How can you say that to our future grandchild! Wow those sure sounds weird in my mouth." Mom said with a frown.  
  
"Well knowing Touya he would be overprotective in her. As for saying future grandchild, don't worry you still look young and beautiful."  
  
My mother blushed at dad's comment and found the plate to be the most interesting thing in the world because she couldn't tear her sight way from it. No matter how many years had passed they still love each other deeply. I envy them because I am not going find someone who could love me like that. Just then, the boy from the fields came into my mind with one word in his mouth hope. I snapped out from my reverie and forced a smile on my face.  
  
"You know what, taking care of two babies is hard. Are they going to hire a nanny?" my mother suddenly said.  
  
"Touya asked me if by any chance we have found a perfect nanny we should give him a call." Dad said while drinking is coffee.  
  
"I'll check later if any of my friends know one." My mom said.  
  
"Speaking of nanny," my dad interjected. Time to face one of my problems. My heart is thumping wild and I really want to go out of this room but I can't. "Your mom and I have decided that we should hire a nanny for you." He said slowly. I think he is afraid I might burst out from anger, which I am trying not to show. I inhaled deeply and spoke in a calm tone.  
  
"Why?" I said flatly.  
  
"What do you mean why? What if.if.you collapsed on the street again and nobody can help you? I don't want that to happen again." My mom said in a disappointed voice. I just sat there staring at both of them not even saying a single word.  
  
"Your mother is right. What happened yesterday really scared both of us." Dad said in a gentle way. I don't know what to do anymore because there's a part of me telling that I should agree but the other one said the opposite.  
  
"You know what having that thing doesn't mean it is the end. It is just a beginning of your life. We couldn't call it a life if there are no hardships in it."  
  
Syaoran's words rang in my head and because of that I made a perfect decision.  
  
"Alright, under one condition, I would be the one who will pick my nurse." Both my parent slowly smiled and nodded at my decision. I stood up as I finished my breakfast and went to the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" my mom asked me while she is cleaning up the table.  
  
"Tomoyo's house." I said simply. For a second I forgot to put my mask on until I realized I wasn't smiling. I put on my best smile and look at her. "I'll be back before lunch. Bye."  
  
"Be careful and don't forget to call me when you get I there."  
  
"Okay" I rushed out to the door and dropped my fake mask.  
  
~@~  
  
"I am starting to worry about our daughter, Nadeshiko." Fujitaka said as he helped his wife by putting the dishes in the cupboard.  
  
The kitchen has an L-shaped wall with an island on the center. Fujitaka is washing the dishes while Fujitaka dries them up and put them in the cupboard.  
  
"I know you know that she is just pretending to be happy but why does she do it?" Fujitaka said as he stopped drying the dishes and just stared at them. Suddenly a warm hand is placed in his shoulders. He turned to look at his wife with a sad smile on her face.  
  
"Knowing her.I think she does that so that we shouldn't worry about her. I think she want us to be happy eventhough she isn't." Amanda said solemnly.  
  
"I think your right." Fujitaka said with a sigh as he holds his wife's hands into his and placed them in his cheek, "I just hope this would end soon."  
  
"I really do hope so." They just stayed that way looking at each other.  
  
~@~  
  
I am waiting for Tomoyo at her living room because she is still taking a bath. I looked around to see if Aunt Sonomi changed anything but found nothing. Aunt Sonomi went to work so here I am all alone in this huge living room. Usually if she is here, she would keep me company until Tomoyo arrives.  
  
The living room is beautiful but not a beautiful as Syaoran's. The walls are decorated with light blue wallpaper. At the center of the room, two- cushioned sofas are placed facing one another with a center table dividing the two. At the top of the center table, a low vase with white roses is placed. Behind the sofa on where I sat, is their grand piano with a large window beside it. An adjourning room led to the stairs and the kitchen in front of me.  
  
Loud footsteps can be heard, as I was about to take a magazine in front of me to read.  
  
"Sakura this is a surprise I'm so glad you came!" Tomoyo squealed as she appeared from the adjourning room and trapped me in a bear hug. Tomoyo is wearing a sky blue sleeveless dress that matches her lavender eyes. The dress hung on to her curves. Her long dark violet hair is worn down with a black headband.  
  
"Air." I said while trying to breath.  
  
"Sorry.but I'm just so happy you came." Tomoyo said as pulled me from the hug and checked me for a while. At first she frowned a bit, but maybe I'm just hallucinating because at the instant I looked at her once more her beautiful smile is playing in her lips. "Let's go to my room so we can talk." Tomoyo led me to her room.  
  
Her room is still the same since I last came here. That day. Tomoyo went to her closet because she wanted to show me something. Knowing her it would be a new dress for the fashion show. As for me I am sitting here patiently in her queen sized bed while looking at her magazine.  
  
"Hey Tomoyo, what happened to your fashion show?" I asked curiously because I wanted to know what had happened to that dress I tried out when I last came here.  
  
"What do you mean fashion show?" Tomoyo asked back to me while she was in her closet.  
  
"You know the royalty theme thing."  
  
"Oh that." Tomoyo said, as she understands what I am talking about, "cancelled it." She said simply like it was nothing. I was shocked at what she said.  
  
"Why did you do that?"  
  
"Simple, I just don't want a fashion show without you in it. Besides the director agreed with Me." just because of me, Tomoyo sacrificed her show. This can't be happening.she is ruining her career.what would happen to her designs if.if.I'm gone.  
  
"So any news about Kaho?" Tomoyo suddenly changed the topic as she went out from her closet carrying a lavender silk in her arms. I got confused at what she was talking.  
  
"Who is Kaho?" I asked her because I got confused at the sudden change of topic. Then I felt something in my head. I held onto it tightly and closed my eyes waiting for the pain to go away. Miraculously, it went away. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Tomoyo in front of my face looked at me worriedly and held my shoulders. The silk cloth is lying on the floor behind Tomoyo. I put on my best smile I could come up.  
  
"Sakura are you okay? Do you want to rest or do you want some water?" Tomoyo bombarded me with questions that are starting to make me irritable but I have to act right now.  
  
"What are you talking about? I've never felt better in my life." I laughed a hollow one. I have to think of something to make her forget her worrying the it clicked right into my head, her question she asked me earlier. "Well about Kaho, do you know that she is having twins?" I pushed myself from her grip and went to stare at the window.  
  
"I really hoped it was a girl so I could teach her a lot of things. One more thing, if she grows up to be a beautiful woman maybe she could take my place in your fashion show." I said as I was trying to smile and not to cry. I was hurting deep inside knowing that there might be a possibility that I couldn't see the twins grow up but one thing is for sure I would be here when they would be born, hopefully.  
  
Good thing Syaoran couldn't read my mind or else he would be disappointed, but hey, I took his advice about his "life is worth living belief" eventhough it is miserable and short. Wait a minute why am I worrying about what would he think? Maybe because he helps me a little bit last night but how can I be happy if I am going away forever soon?  
  
"Please stop it." I snapped out from my reverie when I heard Tomoyo's tearful voice behind me. I turned to look at her.  
  
"What are you." I was shocked to see her crying, "What's wrong sis?" I asked as I pulled a handkerchief in my pocket. I was about to approach her when she said something that made me glued to my spot.  
  
"Please stop acting like everything is okay eventhough you're not." Tomoyo said as tears are flowing freely from her face. Tomoyo really can see through me but I have to keep the act.  
  
"I'm not acting and really I'm fine." I said with a cheesy smile I could come up with.  
  
"I've known you since were still young so you can't fool me. I know if you're happy, angry, annoyed, and scared. Right now, I know you are trying to fool everyone by telling you're ok but your not. Do you know why? It's because of your eyes. Why Sakura? Why did you close yourself and push everyone away by fooling us? I was hurt when I heard the news about you but what's even hurt the most is the fact that you're trying to deal everything to yourself and not letting others in." I interrupted her because I have enough. She had said too many things today.  
  
"That's enough!" I voiced out my thoughts, as I couldn't keep the act anymore. "How can you say that you really know me eventhough you don't? Well Tomoyo, the truth is you still don't know me because you are not me and you don't have any right to tell me what to do or not because you're not my mother you're just only my best friend." I was so angry at that time because I couldn't accept Tomoyo's words because they are true. If I just cool myself off, I would see Tomoyo's shocked expression with new tears flowing in her face but I didn't. My mind was blank with anger at that time. It feels like someone is controlling my body and I just stood there in my mind watching the whole incident.  
  
"I didn't know you feel that way." Tomoyo finally regained her posture and looked at the floor. ".I don't know what to say.sniff.all that I wanted say before is I'm always here and stop lying to me but." I cut her off because I really don't want hear her words anymore. They say that the truth shall set you free but why does it hurt so much?  
  
"Do me one favor.leave me alone and stop caring for me. It would the be the best for both of us." I turned my back on her and went away. As I stepped out of the door, I came to my senses. Why did I lash out my anger at Tomoyo? How could I done that to her? But I guess what I did would be the best for both of us. Tomoyo would live a peaceful life because I wouldn't be a burden to her anymore. If I stayed a bit in her room I would hurt her even more, which is, I don't want to do.  
  
I'm sorry Tomoyo and goodbye.  
  
Author's note:  
  
Sorry it took me so long to post this up. This incident really happened in real life but the girl in the real life isn't dying or something like that. So please R&R. I would like to say a thousand of thanks to those who review the last chappie. I was in a rush today so I haven't put your names in here. Sorry and Thank you thank you! 


	8. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Stay  
  
It was around afternoon when I found myself sitting at the park looking at nowhere. I still didn't go home after I stormed out from Tomoyo's house. Oh, Tomoyo I hope you will forgive me.  
  
The sky has the color of ashen gray that warns of the coming rain. The kids on the playground are starting to diminish in numbers as their mothers came to pick them up. It is not too soon that the playground in front of me is deserted save for me. The playground has a lot of memories for me. I looked at my left and started to visualized two girls, one shoulder length auburn hair that is styled in pigtails adorned with green ribbons while the other one has a waist length purple wavy hair that flows freely in the wind, laughing and chasing each other. Their image ran past me and they just vanish out of thin air.  
  
The playground hasn't changed a bit since I was a kid. The same old penguin slide that has a circular sandbox connected to it at its right side. The swing that faces the sun when it set is still standing at the left of the slide. The monkey bar on the back of the sandbox is still painted with rainbow colors. On the right side of the playground is the park where adults leisurely walk and meet their acquaintances and have a chat.  
  
I silently walked to the empty playground and sat on the swing. I laid my head on the handle and stared at the entrance.  
  
"Tomoyo, let's go over there!" a mini Sakura shouted to mini Tomoyo at the entrance as Sakura ran to the slide with Tomoyo trying to catch up with Sakura.  
  
"Sakura, would you slow down a minute..." the next minute Tomoyo tripped down and fell on her knees. Tomoyo sat down on the soil and looked at her knees. Her white knees had a scratch on it. Tomoyo's lips began to quiver then she cried. Sakura ran over and looked at Tomoyo's knees. She pulled out a strip of paper from her pocket.  
  
"I should thank oni-chan for this. He said I am so clumsy I might trip and gave me this. I thought that was a joke but it is not." Sakura placed the purple-checkered band-aid at Tomoyo's knees. "All fixed!" Sakura said with a bright smile.  
  
"Thank, sniff, you, Sakura." Then Tomoyo hugged Sakura tightly.  
  
"Hey, that's what do best-friends do right?" Sakura said still smiling brightly.  
  
"Really? The would you be my best-friend forever?" Tomoyo asked with hope in her eyes.  
  
"That's a pinky promise." Sakura held up her pinky finger and Tomoyo latched hers. After they did that, both of them laughed and ran to the slides hand-in-hand.  
  
A single drop fell on my face, and then another and another until it rained hard. I just stayed there never minding the rain. Until I noticed that there is something warm flowing in my face. I reached out to touch it and found out that I was crying. My tears had been mixed with the rain. This would be better so nobody would notice I'm crying. I just sat there looking like a lost person until I noticed that the rain has stopped falling over me. I looked up and there is a green umbrella hovering above me. What made me shocked even more was the person holding it. Syaoran Li.  
  
He is standing in front of me holding out his umbrella over us. He is wearing a blue shirt topped with black denim jacket with black cargo pants. His looks took my breath away especially his eyes that kept on haunting me.  
  
"What are you doing out here in the rain?" his deep voice held much concern as he spoke to me.  
  
"None of your business." I snapped at him for intruding my thoughts.  
  
"Oh so were back again at the beginning." He said sarcastically, "Come I will take you home," as he hold out his hand to me. I swatted his hand away.  
  
"Why do you always care? Why don't you just leave me alone? I don't want to go home, okay. I want to be alone and never to care anymore. I want...I want to..." just then I couldn't take it anymore. I fell to my knees and cried hard. When I felt two strong pair of arms surround me enveloping me in warmth I seemed to be looking for, I clutched at him and cried at his wide strong chest. Somehow the idea of being alone scares me. We stayed like that for a long time. I don't know how long but I reluctantly leave the solace of his embrace. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."  
  
"That's okay" then he gave me the sweetest smile I have ever seen and just because of that smile I feel something strange inside me. I felt like a thousand of butterflies are swimming inside my stomach and my heart has starting to beat faster like it been being chased with and I swear he could also hear it. I felt like I'm underwater and can't breathe normally. Lastly, I feel like my face is burning hot. What is this I'm feeling? It scares and...I don't know. I could feel his intense amber gaze on me so I avoided his gaze instead and looked at the ground.  
  
"Oh Sakura, I never felt like this whenever I'm with Eriol. It's like a bomb that just exploded and woke me up from these wonderful feelings." Tomoyo's voice echoed through my head as her laughter fades into nothing.  
  
"I'm a horrible person." I said softly not aware that I said it out loud. I feel so guilty for doing that to Tomoyo. Now I'm certain she hated me fro all of her life and never want to see my sorry face ever again.  
  
"I don't think you are. I know deep down you are a lonely person who needs someone to guide her." Syaoran said to me in a soothing tone. I didn't notice the rain is starting to weaken, as the sky had turned orange.  
  
"You will take back what you said after you have learned the truth." I said sadly.  
  
"Well the park is big enough for a long story." He said comfortingly. I gave him a look that say's no-way but he just shrugged it and stood up and held his hand to help me. I take his hand and the moment I held his hand I felt something different. I tried to brush off that feeling but I found it hard to do so.  
  
"I don't even know you that much. Why do you expect me to tell you everything?" I said in a confused tone. He got surprised at my answer but he just brushed it off and smiled at me.  
  
"Have you ever had a feeling like meeting someone for the first time and you felt like you knew that person like you knew yourself?" what is he talking about? Has he gone mad but his eyes held seriousness and truthfulness against that mysterious amber eyes of his that made me want to believe everything he said. "Well that's what I felt right now. I know this might sound crazy but I am telling the truth and don't tell me I might not understand what you are going through because you're wrong. Now how about that walk through the park..." he stopped for a moment and looked at me. I looked at myself and noticed how did my dress hung to my body. He took his jacket and placed it on me. "...after you change into something dry." I was about to protest when a cold breeze suddenly passed by us and I felt myself went cold and not only that a traitorous sneeze came that clearly tells me to change.  
  
"Can you wait that long?" I asked him challengingly.  
  
"Even if took me Christmas."  
  
"You are one stubborn person I ever knew."  
  
"That's what they say about me." He said simply to me.  
  
"I might ditch you." I keep on presenting new problems just to see how stubborn he is.  
  
"I have a feeling you won't do that." He said mysteriously. This guy is really stubborn and determined but the weird thing is I don't mind spending time with him at the park. I should be pushing him away but something is stopping me from doing that. Is he a magician or what?  
  
~@~  
  
Ding-dong  
  
Eriol Hirigasawa stood outside a large mahogany door waiting for the door to open up. He wore a worried face at the moment that matches the rain outside. He wore a purple shirt and a blue pants. He was fidgeting at the door as if a monster would come out and gobble him up. Just then the door slowly opened up and a maid with shoulder copper hair that also wore a worried look appeared at the doorway.  
  
"Master Eriol! I'm glad you came." Relief flooded the maid's features. Eriol started to get more nervous at that time.  
  
"Why Kazumi...what's wrong?"  
  
"It's mistress...she has locked herself in her room for hours and she hasn't eaten anything since breakfast. You've got to help her." Desperation filled the maids voice that confirmed the reason why Eriol came at the first place.  
  
"Okay, don't worry. I will talk to her."  
  
Before lunch, Eriol called Tomoyo just to invite her for lunch but nobody has answered his calls back. Eriol started to get worried so he called her cell phone but somebody just turned it off when the second ring came. At first Eriol thought her battery was just low and she would call back just like before. Hours had passed, Tomoyo still hasn't called so Eriol got on his car and rushed at Tomoyo's house.  
  
Eriol trudge the familiar way that leads to his beloved's room. Once he got there, he softly knocked on her door and called her name out.  
  
"Tomoyo, it's me Eriol. Would open the door and talk to me?" Eriol waited for a few silent minutes until he heard a click on her door. He turned the doorknob and went in quietly. He scanned the dark room and saw a figure huddle up in the queen-sized bed. He slowly went to her and touched her shoulders. The moment he did that Tomoyo suddenly hugged her and cried on his shoulders.  
  
"Please stop crying...because...if you don't then you'll get wrinkles early." Eriol said jokingly. The truth is he couldn't stand it when Tomoyo cry. It breaks his heart into a million pieces. Tomoyo stopped crying and gave him a small smile.  
  
"Really?" Tomoyo said jokingly. Her eyes are red from crying and her face is wet from tears. "Thank you for coming here."  
  
"No problem...what's happened?" Eriol was glad that Tomoyo was okay even just for a moment. Tomoyo was silent for a moment and then told him everything that had happened.  
  
"I can't believe Sakura said that to me. I thought we were friends but now I don't know what to think anymore." Tomoyo was starting to cry again.  
  
"For years of being with you and Sakura around, I get to understand a little about the way you think." Eriol said still hugging Tomoyo while tucking her hair on her ears. Tomoyo leaned over and hugged him more seeking solace in his arms. "If I were Sakura, I don't want anybody I care for to be sad. I would do everything to take that sadness away even if I have to hurt myself just to prevent everyone from getting sad."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Tomoyo said in a confused tone as she looked into Eriol's eyes.  
  
"Sakura thinks that she is the reason why everyone is suffering right now. She has lost all hope and faith and she saw that everyone is suffering because of her condition. So she decided that if we get into ourselves to forget her we wouldn't be saddened by her condition anymore." Eriol said as though he knew it from experience.  
  
"I never thought of it." Tomoyo said as realization dawned on her. "Sakura still thinks of everyone even if she is suffering. I am such a bad friend for hating her." Tomoyo bowed her head in shame.  
  
"No your not...from what I see, I see a great woman who cares for her friends." Eriol looked at Tomoyo with feelings he is scared to show. Unfortunately, Tomoyo misinterpreted it to something, "and if you hate Sakura...would you even think of worrying over her right now?" Eriol continued.  
  
'Eriol has a point in that. He is really wise when it comes to this and that's why I love him...but he just love me as a sister.' Tomoyo thought sadly. Tomoyo hugged him tighter because she is afraid to let him go and this is the only farthest she could ever hold him.  
  
Meanwhile, Eriol is cherishing the moment and hoped that it would stay like this forever. 'If you just only knew how great and wonderful you are to me, then you wouldn't be crying like this. But saying those words would be dangerous and scary. I know you just treat me as a friend. If by any chance you would fall I hope it would be me to catch you.' Eriol thought sadly.  
  
"Eriol?" Tomoyo said sleepily.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Stay..." Eriol was caught off guard at her words.  
  
"Forever." But Tomoyo was asleep when Eriol said that. Eriol laid her on her bed and was about to go and sit on her chair when Tomoyo's death-grip stopped him from doing that. He had no choice but to lie beside her and watch her sleep.  
  
Author's note:  
  
This chapter is dedicated to the person who has been my inspiration for this story. Thank you for the special moments you gave and I am just so sad that I haven't told you. I hope you can read this.  
  
I am so sorry it took me sooo long to update this. I've been busy. I will make it up for updating next week.  
  
AnimeObsessionFantasy – hmmm...your half true half false. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
sweet-captor – yeah I would say the same but don't worry, as kero would say "everything would be alright."  
  
Hikaru Ayumi – that's fine by me because ummm...wahhh I don't know why. Hehehehe just joking, I just treat it as a nightmare. 


	9. Chapter 7 Revised!

OMG!!! Now I know why this chapter is confusing. Tnx carzygurl and AnimeObssessionFantasy for telling me about how weird and confusing it turned out to be. Oh and carzygurl about the ET moments...just watch the net chappie.  
  
Chapter 7: Stubborn Angel  
  
Li went home to change after he dropped me off from my house. He said he would meet me after 30 mins. As if I would meet him. There's no way I would go out of this house and take a walk with him because Syaoran Li is dangerous. He makes me feel weird things and do the stupidest thing I have ever known but most of all, he is bringing me back to life and I'm scared because...because...I don't want to return to my normal self. I want to be forever trapped in this nightmare because it is the only way. I want to leave this place alone with no one to care to.  
  
Thirty minutes had passed and I have changed into something dry. I now wore my blue pedal pusher and green shirt with matching white clogs but I still wore a towel in my head because it is dripping wet. I sat still inside my room waiting for the doorbell to sound its dreadful noise. I said that because I was dreading of his arrival but there is a part of me that's going nuts and wanted to rush out of the door and greet him. Now that thought was dangerous.  
  
~@~  
  
Syaoran Li stood at the white door looking at the doorbell waiting for something. He was doing nothing at the moment only standing there casually.  
  
"I really have turned nuts the moment I saw her." Syaoran mumbled to himself. "Which is why I might never know why I'm here."  
  
He pressed the doorbell and waited patiently for it to open. Just then the door opened and there stood Nadeshiko with a smile on her face.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hi is Sakura in there?" Syaoran said in a polite and gentle manner. Nadeshiko raised her delicate eyebrow at Syaoran, which made him to sweat drop. Nadeshiko just started to laugh at Syaoran's antics and let him in with a smile.  
  
"I'm Nadeshiko, Sakura's mother. Sakura is in her room follow me."  
  
'That was a weird question, of course I know she's in there.' Syaoran thought to himself.  
  
"I'm Li Syaoran, your new neighbor."  
  
"Are here to court Sakura?" Nadeshiko asked slyly. Syaoran's face turned beet red at that question.  
  
"No, I'm here because Sakura is going to take me around the village since I'm new here."  
  
"Hmm...too bad you look perfect for my daughter." Nadeshiko said sadly.  
  
Nadeshiko led him upstairs then they stopped at a white door. Nadeshiko gently knocked on the door and it opened to reveal Sakura with shock clearly written on her face. However, there was a flicker of light that appeared on her lifeless green eyes the moment she saw Syaoran that didn't go unnoticed by her mother.  
  
"Li-san? What are you doing in here?" Sakura asked incredulously with a towel in her shoulders.  
  
"Have you forgotten? You're going to show me the sights in here right." Sakura was on the verge of denying everything but she doesn't want to disappoint her mother by acting so rudely and lie to Li-san, so she grudgingly agreed. Besides she had too many lies in half a day.  
  
~@~  
  
"That's the penguin park." I said to him half-heartedly. It annoys the hell out of me that I have a little control of the situation over here and that I actually like his stubborn streak. Since we came out of my house he hasn't uttered a single word. He just looked at the view solemnly or looks at me as if I had dirt in my face and because of that I started to get irritated and freaked out. "You should have bought a camera so that it will last." I said snappishly at him. Great, I have lost my temper again.  
  
"Maybe I should have." He said smiling at me. Argh! This guy sure doesn't know the word annoying doesn't he? I stomped angrily away from him. "Hey! Wait! I'm sorry." The way he said that made my heart flutter for a second but I kept my back on him refusing to meet his gaze. "Why do you always follow me around and butt into my business?" I said angrily. I was treating him like a stranger again because he is getting too close in opening my heart up and I don't think I'm ready for it yet. I know I should be thankful for him about last night for saving me and giving me a new insight but... I must remember my vow to be alone for now on.  
  
"I don't have an answer on why I'm following you because there are a lot of people out there who lives much worse than you are that needed someone to help them but there's something about you that I just couldn't ignore. I don't know what it is but all that I know is that I want to be close to you and protect you from harm. I want to be your friend." There is sincerity in his eyes the moment I look at him. It would be nice if he would be my friend if the situation were different.  
  
"It's impossible." I said silently as I walked through the swings and sat on it. He also followed my suit but he never left his amber eyes off me.  
  
"It wouldn't be impossible if you just let me." He said silently.  
  
"No, you don't understand." I said as I felt tears starting to roll down but I just swallowed hard to prevent it from rolling down. "I can't let you because I might just hurt you just like what I did to Tomoyo."  
  
"Tomoyo?" He asked me. Oh no! I didn't to blab it all out but...well since I started it I might as well tell everything, but should I? Can I trust him?  
  
I looked at his face and all that I see is concern, trust, and something I can't quite understand nor read on his face. He looks like the angel from my dream, my angel of hope. I told him everything and waited for his reaction. He just looked up at the setting sun in front of us and inhaled deeply.  
  
"I know from what I did Tomoyo wouldn't forgive me but I hope she understand what I did. I did it just so she wouldn't get hurt when I am gone." I said silently.  
  
"I'm sure Tomoyo would forgive you no matter what you did." He said as he looked at me straight in the eye.  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"Simple...because both of you are best friends. You just don't call a person you just met as your best friend because they're this or that. No, you call that person a best friend because she understands and stays with you and is ready to forgive you for your faults." A glimmer of hope burst right into me as he said that. "As for the idea of being alone...you are wrong. You just don't know what it feels like to live alone with no one to care for."  
  
"What do you mean by that? This is not your life...I choose to live as alone because there is no other choice." I said as I stood up angrily and glared at him. He just remained calm there but there is pain in his eyes. I felt guilty for causing him that pain but I wouldn't let him know it.  
  
"There are a lot of choices." He fell silent after that just looked at me with those mysterious amber eyes of his. I felt like drowning in those eyes but all of it vanished when he spoke again. "Do you want to know what it feels like to live alone?" What is he talking about? Curiosity got the better of me so I nod my head slowly. "I'll show you tomorrow morning." He stood up and faces me. "Even though I hate for this day to end. Would you like to grab some burgers before we go home? I saw this store before we arrive here." His face was comical that moment. He was like a boy who was begging his mother to buy him an ice cream. How could I resist that face of his, with that pout on his face and those puppy eyes? Besides I'm also hungry. "Your treat." I said as I lead the way once more.  
  
~@~  
  
"I'm home!" Fujitaka announced as he came home. It was around 7:00pm at that moment as he put his briefcase and looked around to find his wife. "Nadeshiko?" he was about to enter the kitchen when Nadeshiko surprised him with hugs and kisses.  
  
"Oh Fujitaka, you should have been here this afternoon!" Fujitaka was turning blue at the moment from Nadeshiko's bear hug.  
  
"Nadeshiko...air..." Fujitaka said in-between breaths.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry honey." Fujitaka noticed the bloom on his wife's face. It's just like her ethereal glow has returned. Fujitaka smiled lovingly at his wife.  
  
"Tell me all about it, but first let's eat. I'm starving."  
  
"Okay." Nadeshiko went to the kitchen to take their dinner followed by Fujitaka. When Fujitaka sat on the dining table he noticed that there is one plate missing. "Honey, is Sakura going to eat upstairs?" Nadeshiko returned with their dinner and placed it on the table with a smile on her face.  
  
"No she's going to eat out." Fujitaka sent her a questioning glance. Nadeshiko looked at him and smiled at him.  
  
"The boy across the street, Syaoran Li, asked our daughter out." Nadeshiko said simply. Fujitaka gulped all the rice he just swallowed and began to cough.  
  
"What? Care to explain."  
  
"Syaoran Li came her to ask her out even though our daughter denies it. He said he was just a friend but I hope he wouldn't be just a friend in the future. I got to know him a lot better when I talked to him this afternoon.  
  
~@~ Syaoran was waiting downstairs for Sakura because she said she had to fix herself up. Nadeshiko was keeping Syaoran company for a moment. "I just don't understand women. Even though they already look nice they still have to lock themselves up in the bathroom." Nadeshiko just laughed at Syaoran's statement. Syaoran's eyes went wide when he noticed that he just said his thoughts out loud. "Oh, I'm so sorry Mrs. Kinimoto. I didn't mean to say that out loud."  
  
"That's all right. My husband always says that to me whenever we go out. I just told him that it's a girl's habit to look nice just to impress our men."  
  
"Maybe your right."  
  
"So...how did you meet Sakura? She hasn't told me anything about you."  
  
"I was visiting a friend when I met her at the hospital yesterday morning."  
  
"Your girlfriend?" Nadeshiko feared for worst because she was hoping Syaoran would be the one for her daughter. Syaoran laughed at her question.  
  
"No, I was visiting Dr. Andy Xiao Ping my friend from Hong Kong. He was transferred here and since I'm in the vicinity I decided to visit him too."  
  
"How did you end up here in our little town?"  
  
"Family business and my cousin also live in here too."  
  
"I glad you came here to visit Sakura and take her out because she really needs it now that...that." Syaoran place a comforting hand over her shoulder.  
  
"She told me everything about her sickness yesterday so don't worry."  
  
"Then you must think that she must be horrible for treating you badly but she is not like that..." Syaoran interrupted her as if she had read her mind, which is true.  
  
"I know she isn't like that and I understand her and I am not spending time with her because of her so-called sorry situation. I'm spending time with her because I just want to." Syaoran said truthfully.  
  
"Are in-love with my daughter?" Syaoran was silent for a moment. He lowered his eyes as his unruly bangs covered his eyes.  
  
"I couldn't answer that question yet, but all I know is that I will be here for her. For now I would just be her friend." Nadeshiko smiled softly at him.  
  
"How did you like the cake I brought yesterday?" Syaoran's eyes lit at the change of topic until the topic went to chocolates, Syaoran's favorite. After ten minutes, Sakura went down with her hair fixed into ponytail with braids on the sides.  
  
"I taught it would be all be lost to nothing and Sakura would never return to her cheerful self but since Syaoran appeared at our doorstep all hope has returned. When Sakura saw Syaoran on her doorstep her eyes lit up for a moment. I knew I did the right thing because I know that Sakura would ditch him." Nadeshiko said as she finished her meal.  
  
"From what I see God has sent Sakura an angel only this time it would be a stubborn angel." Laughter filled the house that night as if no problem has entered that place. 


	10. A glimpse of dark past

Chapter 8: A glimpse of dark past  
  
I can't believe I'm eating at Burger King. I rarely eat here because I always hang out at Starbucks or at the mall. I was eating silently while looking out of the window. The place is full of people. There are a lot of people here who comes with their friends or they are just meeting someone. I also noticed that there are a lot of people looking at us mostly girls with hearts on their eyes. I wanted to tear their eyes off for looking at Li...I mean this way. I don't care if those lunatics ambushed Li with kisses, because he is nothing, right? I gave them my cold glare and they looked away from fright. This place is full of life and I refuse to look at them so I just looked at the glass window. There is nothing special in there, only people passing by without worries. I just want to go back into my room. My dark and lonely room.  
  
I was just halfway on my burger when I looked at him and saw that he was nearly finished on his burger. So that's why he bought two burgers for himself and he was about to buy another one when I refused because I can't finish two hamburgers.  
  
"Do you know what Li? I can't believe you can devour a single burger in just a minute." He just shrugs at me and smiled.  
  
"What can I say? I'm a growing man." He said jokingly.  
  
"Yeah, a fat growing man." I said as I looked at the streets.  
  
"Do you think I'm fat? Oh no this bad." He said in a whiny voice. Suddenly he laughed which made me to look at him. "Just joking."  
  
I can't believe this guy! He has the nerve to make a joke over a sarcastic remark. "Pigsty." I mumbled to myself but unfortunately he heard it. "It's better being that than be a skinny man who acts likes he's a macho man." I began to form an image of a geeky skinny guy posing some Bruce Lee moves. That thought freaks me out. Good thing Li isn't like that or even have a body of a sumo. I looked at him eating his hamburger happily. He is neither skinny nor fat no he is...perfect. His shoulders are broad and his arms are well fit, not like those bulky guys in Smack down or whatever it called.  
  
Argh, I knew I shouldn't have spent too much time with Touya because he is rubbing off me. It's not that I watch those things it's just that whenever Touya visited he will grab the remote from me and switch the channel and put the remote out of my reach. I knew I would lose the argument because dad would back him up. Those are the days that would always remain a memory.  
  
Now...how did I end up thinking of those things? Oh...now I remember, it's that guy's entire fault. If he hadn't been so perfect I wouldn't end up thinking of that memory.  
  
"Now what did I do wrong?" Syaoran said to me looking worriedly as if he had done something wrong, which is he did.  
  
"How can you tell there is something wrong? I'm perfectly fine." I just couldn't take the coldness in my voice but it doesn't seem to affect him because he still looked at me that way. I started to squirm under his gaze because they seem to see right through me. I couldn't take all the pressure he gave me so I told him a little. "Do you want to know what's wrong? It's all about you. Why do you still act so freaking nice to me after all that I've done to you? You know I'm starting to think your nuts because a normal person would hate me and leave me after all the lashing I gave them." I said it in a monotone voice because I know if I shout at him it would create havoc here. He just smiled at me that made want to gaze at it for a long time. I snapped out of my reverie and made my face neutral.  
  
"Maybe I'm nuts, maybe I'm a psycho, or maybe I'm just weird because even I don't know why I keep on pestering you around even though I just met you yesterday. All that I know is that I want to be with you as a friend. Besides, I know t would be worth it."  
  
I never expected that kind of answer. What I expect is for him to tell me that he did it out of pure sympathy. He is full of mystery and riddles just like the...angel from my dream. I haven't seen my angel after I got out of the hospital. Come to think of it, I stopped seeing him since I met Li-kun. Could it be? No...that's impossible. I snapped out of my thoughts when Li-kun and I are walking home. He told me a lot about himself. He said that he mainly came from Hong Kong and he went to Tomoeda because of three things: family business, his cousin lives near here, and his runaway sister.  
  
"I thought Shiefa is your only sister?"  
  
"Actually I have five. My three sisters stayed at Hong Kong to oversee our business." He said those things without a tinge of bragging.  
  
"What happened to the other one?"  
  
"Oh you mean Meiling." It took him a while before he answered me. "She's at Shibuya right now." He said that with sadness in his voice  
  
"Hey, that's near here..." then it dawned to me. She is the runaway sister. She is the girl Li is talking about the cold person he knew. "Is she?" Li took a deep breath and stopped for a while.  
  
"She used to be a loving sister and daughter, and she used to be a great person. I don't know what made her change. One day I just woke up and she told us that she hates us."  
  
"Meiling where are you going?" a sixteen year old Syaoran went down from his bedroom to get a glass of water as he asked his sister because he noticed she was acting suspiciously with a duffel bag on her side. Meiling, his sister, had a jet-black hair that reached on her waist and has the same amber eyes like Syaoran. She is wearing a blue spaghetti shirt and black flare pants.  
  
"None of your damn business." Meiling angrily said as she pushed Syaoran away to let her pass. Syaoran was shocked at her response so he grabbed her wrist and turned her around.  
  
"Don't tell me your leaving us." Panic and fear surge through his heart for his sister is leaving him.  
  
"Wow, you figure it out!" Meiling said sarcastically, "I never thought there is a genius other than mom in our family. Now that you've figured it out, I'm going now. Bye." She pushed past him but Syaoran blocked his way through the door. "Move freak." She said angrily.  
  
"No, I'm not going to let you do the biggest mistake of your life." Syaoran's face was fixed in a stubborn way that was known that nobody could do to change his mind.  
  
"You know what brat? The biggest mistakes in my life is staying here and pretend that I care for all of your pathetic life."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us that you aren't happy? You should have told mom or me about your problems so we could help because that's what family is about. Don't you care about mom anymore? Since dad left, she depends on us for being there for her." Syaoran still didn't wipe that stubborn look in his face. Meiling just snorted at his statement.  
  
"You know what? You are one of the reasons on why I'm leaving. Since father died you acted like an all-knowing freak and I hated you for that. Oh, I don't care about mom because she is weak." Syaoran was crushed at her revelation but when he looked into her eyes, he saw guilt and anger. Guilt for the words she didn't even meant to say and anger at herself for hurting him.  
  
"Everything became a blur after that. All that I know is that she left us. Mom was grief stricken but she pushed through with our help. My cousin here in Japan called me one day and told us he saw Meiling working at the restaurant. My cousin got in touch with her and luckily she gave him her number and address but she refuses my cousin's offer to return Hong Kong. I called her one-day and noticed her voice changed. When she realized who am I she hangs up on me. I told mom about Meiling and she called her right away but she did the same to her. Everyday it's been the same, my mom and I call her and she would just keep the phone from ringing. My cousin would visit her regularly but she just shoved him off. Now that I'm in here I could talk to her again but mom doesn't know that she's just around. All that she knows is that Meiling is somewhere here in Japan." Curiosity got over me so I asked him.  
  
"Why not?" I asked. I don't know why but I really want to know all about Meiling. I know I shouldn't be acting like this but there's a part of me that want to know all about Li. I don't know why but I wanted to be a part of his life... a part of his life? What am I thinking? I just told myself a while ago that I wanted to be alone and here I am spending time with him. I should go right now but it feels like my feet are glued to the ground.  
  
"I wanted to talk to her first before mom does." Suddenly he laughed and looked at me. "You might be thinking that I'm crazy right now. I usually don't tell my secrets to any person I just met, especially about my family. I know you are disgusted by me right now because I am telling you the...complicated problem about my family that I know that these things should be kept within the family members only but when I first saw you, I knew I could depend on you. I knew I could tell you everything without laughing at me because I know you would understand. Now I know why your friend like you so much." He said as we approach my house. I stopped to look at him.  
  
"Are you talking about Tomoyo Daidouji?" I asked him as my eyes turned cold as I remembered what I did to her.  
  
"Yes." He didn't shudder at my gaze but he stood there like nothing had happened.  
  
"You haven't met her yet so how could you say that you know what she felt?"  
  
"I know I haven't met her yet, but I know how a true friend feels." There is something in his eyes that tells me he is telling the truth. "You want to know what she sees?" he didn't wait for my reply as he goes on. "She saw a caring and a loving person who could accept you just the way you are." I was touched at how he see me and I got the feeling that Tomoyo would say the same if she were here. I really miss her but I know that it's all too late. Before I knew it I was crying again in front of Li. This time I never got surprised as he held me close in his arms.  
  
"Tears never suit a beautiful face such as yours."  
  
"I miss Tomoyo."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Good evening sleeping beauty." Eriol said with a smile as Tomoyo fluttered her eyes open. Tomoyo got surprise as she saw Eriol sitting at the chair beside her bed.  
  
"You stayed here the whole time I was sleeping?" Eriol just nodded at her. Tomoyo blushed at what he did. "You shouldn't have done that."  
  
"I can't leave you and besides I love to watch you sleep." Tomoyo blushed beet red at her statement.  
  
"Your such a joker but thanks."  
  
"Anything for a special friend." Eriol seems to have difficulty in saying the word friend but he has no choice if he wants to keep this friendship with her. He would do anything just to be close to her. "Tomoyo you should eat your dinner. I don't want to see you again looking so thin and weak." Eriol said softly as Tomoyo yawned.  
  
"I'm not hungry." Tomoyo answered automatically.  
  
"You are going downstairs to eat your dinner even if I have to drag you down there." Eriol said stubbornly.  
  
"But I look like a mess." Tomoyo reasoned out. Eriol looked at her and noticed no difference. She still looks beautiful for him. "You still look beautiful for me but if you still think you're a wreck why don't you use those make-up?"  
  
"Push over."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"I pity the girl whose going to be your girlfriend." Tomoyo said as she went to her private bathroom. When she said the word girlfriend there is a twinge of jealousy in her voice for she knew she would never be that girl. "I'm going to take a bath and it may take me awhile so feel free to roam around my room but don't touch my wardrobes" Tomoyo said through the bathroom.  
  
On the other side of the room, Eriol looked at the pictures Tomoyo had. He saw it at her mini table where her magazines and other picture albums are placed. There is one with Tomoyo hugging Eriol from his back with a dazzling smile on their faces. It was taken when their school has a picnic. 'She distanced herself from me that day. I wonder what had happened.'  
  
At the bathroom, Tomoyo is thinking about the day when she found out she could never have Eriol as more than a friend.  
  
Tomoyo, Sakura, and Eriol chose to eat under the Sakura tree at that time. They were nearly finished when Tomoyo realized that she forgot the plates at the lockers they had rented. Eriol volunteered to take it for her.  
  
"Eriol really likes you, Tomoyo." Sakura said to Tomoyo. Tomoyo blushed at Sakura's comment. "I'm glad I took a picture of you guys you look so sweet smiling at the camera."  
  
"He...he's just being nice to me that's all. Besides he only likes me as a friend and don't you ever tease me about that pose a while ago. I don't what came over me."  
  
"Really?" Sakura said with mischief on her voice. Tomoyo blushed harder at what Sakura is trying to tell. "Then why does he couldn't take his eyes off you and follow you around. If I didn't know you guys I would mistake you as a couple from the way you guys act toward each other."  
  
"Were just close friends and...and there must be a zit in my face that's why he keeps following me around." Tomoyo's mind was turning haywire at that time. Every time someone mentions his name her mind goes blank and made her stupid. She was thankful for Sakura for saving her from embarrassing herself whenever she acts different just because of their friend, Eriol.  
  
"Stop!" Sakura said to Tomoyo while laughing at her. "It's obvious that he likes you. Why don't you tell him about your feeling right now?"  
  
"I don't know." Tomoyo said with uncertainty in her voice. "He might be angry or worse."  
  
"I doubt he would do that, he would he ecstatic about it. If by any chance he breaks your heart...he would be dead in the clutches of Touya." Sakura said evilly but she laughed at the funny way she acted. Tomoyo soon joined her but they suddenly stopped laughing when they heard awful news that would ruin Tomoyo's heart.  
  
"Have you seen Eriol's girlfriend?" A girl not so far from them asks her friend who is sitting in front of her.  
  
"Oh you mean the black haired girl with amber eyes that works at the restaurant?"  
  
"Yeah. Isn't it so sweet that he bought her daisies everyday?"  
  
Tomoyo didn't want to believe them but she remembered the time she saw Eriol coming out of the flower shop with two bouquets of daisies. She thought it was for his mother because it was mother's day at that time but after what she had heard she now knew for whom the other bouquet is for.  
  
"There must be a mistake." Sakura said trying to comfort her friend. Just then Eriol came with the plates for their picnic.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Eriol asked Tomoyo as he noticed Tomoyo's forlorn face. Tomoyo quickly masked her face with happiness.  
  
"I forgot to bring Sakura her clothes for this picnic." Sakura sweat dropped at Tomoyo. Eriol just laughed at Tomoyo.  
  
"I thought it was worse." Eriol put the plates down. "So let's start!" Eriol said happily.  
  
"Ummm...I heard there is someone special in your heart right now, is it true?" Sakura asked Eriol. Eriol blushed and looked at Tomoyo but Tomoyo didn't saw it because she was looking incredulously at Sakura. Sakura notice this and felt confused. "So, who's the lucky girl?" Eriol was squirming at his place and Tomoyo noticed this.  
  
"Let's leave the guy alone because it is not right to force him. Besides, the day is wonderful so let's party!" Eriol felt relieve and sad at that moment.  
  
"I'm sorry Eriol." Sakura said sadly.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
The truth Tomoyo didn't want to hear Eriol's answer because she is afraid her heart would be completely broken. Tomoyo dressed in a blue shirt and black flare pants as she emerged from the bathroom. She noticed Eriol was looking at the picture of them three smiling together.  
  
"I wish I could go back to the days where Sakura is still smiling." Eriol was surprised to find her behind him but he noticed her sad eyes.  
  
"I know Sakura would return to herself and we would be there to welcome her back again. When that time comes everyone would be happy." Tomoyo didn't totally agreed with him. She would forgive Sakura and be her best friend once more but she would never be happy for she would always suffer the feeling of sadness because of Eriol.  
  
Author notes:  
  
Wow that was long. Hope you like this chapter.  
  
Carzysimplegurl – there I cleared the reason why Tomoyo and Eriol couldn't tell their feelings. AnimeObssessionFantasy – Once again thank you for noticing the mistake. I owe Chapter 7 to you. Sweet-captor – Who is kawaii the story or I? Hehehe just joking tnx anyway. Wake-Robin – Well there is...I forgot to italicize the words. Snazzy2912 – Oh my, that was flattering. Thank you because I was motivated to finish this soon. 


	11. Visit

DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN CCS. CLAMP DOES.  
  
Chapter 9: Visit  
  
It was twelve o'clock in the midnight and at that time and I'm still awake. I seem can't take my mind off on what had Li told me earlier. I can't believe his sister could do that. She must be so heartless to tell to her brother face-to-face she hated him. I don't know why but as I listen to him I felt like I wanted to cry and hug him and tell him that I... I... What do I want to tell him? I'll be there for him? That is...just like taken from a sappy movie. I shouldn't be acting like this. I just met the guy and he would be giving up on me soon.  
  
I looked at the mansion in front of me and saw a light in the second floor window. I saw a silhouette of Li as he stood by the window and looked at the sky. He doesn't seem to notice me. I watched him as the moonlight bathed his face. His whole face changed as he looked at the sky. His amber eyes softened and stopped its mysterious look he frequently gave me. The way his face shone made him look like an angel. Angel...he looks like the angel in my dreams. Come to think of it they both act the same. They are always there when I needed them. Just like last night. I wonder how he found me? I felt something inside me crushed at the idea of Li leaving me. Why Li, why are you doing this to me?  
  
If I stayed a bit longer I would see him looking at me as if he knows I've been watching him but I didn't. Instead I decided to go to bed for my head started to throb.  
  
Monday, I decided to go to school today. I know I told Li I would accompany him to his sister today but he said he's going to pick me up this afternoon and that leave me some time to dillydally. Besides, I need to calm my nerves before I meet Li. Being with Li makes my mind go haywire and I don't want that to happen again. I am cool and composed when meeting with someone but from the moment I met him...everything changes. Maybe I could ditch him by not showing up. Hmmm... I can't do that because he seems to show up wherever I hide.  
  
Large buildings greeted me the moment I entered the facility. Different styles and colors could be seen from different students. Everyone here at Tomoeda University act as if nothing bad had happened to me. Every smiles and hellos that greeted me are just thrown back to them. I just walked passed to them as if they didn't exist. At first they scrutinized me with confused looks but when I didn't bothered to talk to them slowly one-by-one they left me with confusion in their eyes. Talking to them is pointless. I just stared at the blue sky outside and waited for the time to pass by.  
  
I am so glad Tomoyo have no classes today because I still don't know what to do when I saw her again. If I could just turn back time, I would take the hurtful words I told her. Instead I would just lock myself in my room and never come out till this nightmare end but...is there really hope in this hell as what Li had said and if there is what would that be?   
  
"So you're going to visit Meiling today. Good because I can't seem to go to her today because I am going somewhere." A deep voice said at the other line of the phone. Syaoran is sitting at the desk full of papers while looking outside the window.  
  
"Huh? Where?"  
  
"Modeling Agency. I'm accompanying a friend of mine."  
  
"Your girlfriend?" Syaoran teased the man on the other line.  
  
"She...is not my girlfriend." An annoyed voice came through the line.  
  
"Well if she is not your girlfriend, then why are you accompanying her? Surely, she can go to that place without your help." Syaoran smirked, as he knows he is annoying the man on the other line at each passing moment.  
  
"You don't know anything. She needs me right now." The man on the other line became quiet. "Hey, I heard from Shiefa that you are seeing someone in there. Mysterious woman coz' Shiefa is not telling me anything about her." Syaoran blushed at Eriol's statement.  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"Why would I miss this event in your life? The event where a big change happens to you my cute cousin, you usually don't like to hang around women nor follow them around but now I'm glad you're not queer." The man laughed at what he said.  
  
"Haha...very funny." Syaoran said sarcastically. "She is different from all the girls in Hong Kong. I don't know but I always want to be right there beside her. Maybe I'm crazy..." Syaoran was cut off from what he is saying.  
  
"If you're crazy then I too must be crazy for loving Tomoyo even though..."  
  
"Tomoyo?" Syaoran was shocked at what did his cousin said.  
  
"Yeah, Tomoyo Daidouji. Why you know her?"  
  
"Can you introduce me to her. I need to see her?" Syaoran said in a serious voice.  
  
"What!" his cousin became angry at what Syaoran said. Syaoran seemed to get what was running at his cousin's mind.  
  
"It's not what you think. I would just like to talk to her because she might help my friend."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
"Can you meet me at the agency this 10:00?" Syaoran looked at the clocked and it read 9:30. "Don't worry it's just at the next street from your office." His cousin said in a reassuring voice. Syaoran just dropped by on the company, which his family owned at that day, just to see and meet the employees that he is going to handle.  
  
"Thanks Eriol."  
  
"No problem. Bye."  
  
Every now and then Eriol kept on checking his watch. It was 10:15 and Syaoran has still hasn't arrived.  
  
"Is your cousin really going to come?" Tomoyo said as she clutch a sketchpad in her chest.  
  
"I don't know maybe he got lost." Eriol turned to reply Tomoyo.  
  
"I wouldn't count for that." A deep voice said behind Eriol. Eriol turned around to greet his cousin. "For once you are late."  
  
"Well I have to drop off somewhere. So is this the lady you're always telling me?" Syaoran said as he pointed to Tomoyo. Eriol blushed beet red and introduced Tomoyo to Syaoran.  
  
"Your cousin said that you wanted to talk to me?" Tomoyo said as she got to her point. Syaoran wasn't sure whether to tell her right now as his gaze shift uncomfortably from Eriol to her. Tomoyo seemed to get the message. "Eriol I seem to forgot my sketches at my office would you get it for me." Eriol raised his eyebrow at Tomoyo then to Syaoran then he went to Tomoyo's office.  
  
"I'm sorry you have to do that." Syaoran said as his gaze went to Eriol then back to Tomoyo. "From what I'm about to tell you might be angry at me from meddling into your lives but for me I am willing to take all the chances just for her." Tomoyo's face scrunched up in confusion. "I met your friend, Sakura, and from what I have seen she is suffering from the guilt and sadness she had done to a special friend." Tomoyo is speechless as to how much did he know about the situation. "I know she said hurtful words to you but the truth is they are just empty words that doesn't mean a thing. Could you take some time to talk her? I know I have no right to do this but Sakura needs you more than ever." Tomoyo closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply.  
  
"I really like to believe you but how can you expect me to forget all of the things she said to me?"  
  
"A true friend forgives and understands each other. They stick to each other thru thick or thin and you know what that's what you are." Tomoyo was silent for a moment as she gaze into his eyes to search some hints of lies.  
  
"You have a point in there. Okay..." Syaoran's face broke into a smile.  
  
"I have to go, Sakura might be thinking of ditching me right now. Eriol sure is taking his time." Just then Eriol came in with an envelope in his hands.  
  
"Leaving?" Eriol asked  
  
"Yeah. Hey why don't you visit our house sometime and you too Daidouji- san?"  
  
"That would be nice." Eriol said. Syaoran was about to go when Tomoyo stopped him.  
  
"Thank you and take care of her for me while I'm not around." Syaoran smiled at her and nodded.  
  
My classes ended early this day because of some fair. It was already 1:00 in the afternoon and I'm about to go home when I saw Syaoran waiting for me outside the gate wearing a green polo shirt and black pants. A lot of girls are flocking around him but he doesn't really notice them as his gaze is fixed on mine. I seemed to freeze on that spot the moment I saw him. I was about to go to him and ask him why is he here when I felt the world is spinning around me. I tried to brush it off but it seems it wouldn't budge. Just a slight movement of my head feels like a nail is put into my head. I was about to collapse when a strong pair of arms caught me. I looked up and saw a pair of amber eyes looking at me with fear and concern written all over him. Who is he again? I seem to forget because of the pain in my head.  
  
"Sakura...okay...take...hospital..." those are the only words I caught up for the rest seem fuzzy. The moment I heard the word hospital I began to panic.  
  
"No. I will not go back to that place."  
  
"But Sakura..." I let him call me Sakura for it seems right. Wait...that smell seems familiar. It smells like cinnamon with a tinge of chocolate. Where have I... That night at the bridge when Li held he too smelled like that. I looked at his eyes and my suspicions were true. It is Li that is holding me right now. This is not good. I shook my head to try to brush the pain away and guess what it works...a little.  
  
"I am not yet dying so what's the point of going in that hell?" I said as I pulled away from his embrace. I looked around and saw as students passed us by. Well if you saw us you would think we are just like two people who just met after all these years. That scenario is not new in this school. However, when I looked behind Li I saw the jealous stares that the girls were giving me. I gave them a cold glare and they just began to run like there is a killer chasing them. Li didn't noticed what I just did because he seems to be thinking of something.  
  
"Maybe I should take you home...I think it is a bad idea to go to Meiling right now..." Syaoran said in an uncertain voice as worry is written on his face. I can't show him that I am weak and helpless just because of my condition. I wanted to show him that I could live a normal life without those medicines and doctors.  
  
"Really I'm fine and stop worrying about me you act like some freaking boyfriend of mine." That wasn't supposed to come out but...I was really annoyed and...I lost my temper. I looked at him and saw a pained and shock expression written on his handsome face. This is it, he's going to turn around and leave. Leave and hate me for good. Maybe even forget that he used to try to befriend a cruel person. I felt something inside me break and every breath I take seem painful. I bit my lips very hard just to keep myself from crying as he lowered his eyes to the ground.  
  
Author's note:  
  
Should I stop in here? Hmmm...I am feeling so lazy right now so maybe I should stop. It may take some weeks to finish another chapter.  
  
Do you think I'm evil? If the answer is yes then don't read what happened next. Dude, I'm just pulling your leg.  
  
### "Your right, I act like a boyfriend earlier. I'm sorry. I forgot how frustrating it feels to have someone act like that. I don't know what came over me I just lost my head when I saw you looking like your going to faint." Li said as he looked away.  
  
"If you're going to go right now do it. I don't care because...because I don't need friends nor you anyway." Li looked at me immediately with confusion written on face. Then his face changed to something like he just discovered gold.  
  
"Where did you get that idea? It would take more than that to make me go." He said seriously and because of what he said brought relief to my senses. I don't want him to know that I'm happy he's not leaving me because he might know that I already trust him and treat him like a friend.  
  
"Anyway, I am really fine maybe the weather is too hot." The way I said it was just like I'm talking about the weather. There is no hint of emotion in it. Why can't I show a little happiness? "I'll just take some aspirin and cool off." I tried it again but it is still the same. Come to think of it I feel a little bit fine. Li looked uncertain about it. "Besides, it's your sister's birthday. We don't want to disappoint her, do we?" That was my pride talking. I want to go home and rest but I don't want him to think I'm a weakling. I don't know why I wanted to prove to him I'm fine and dandy.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
I am now starting to regret I opened my big mouth because of my pride. I can't believe I urged Li to accompany him at his sister's place. I mean I should agree with him at the first place to go home but nooo my freaking pride butt in and took over my mouth. Before I knew it, here I am standing at the front door of Meiling's apartment with Li beside me holding a box of chocolate cake. The place needs renovation because of the faded green paint and cracks on the wall, and worn out poles. Syaoran pushed the doorbell. Within the minute nobody opened nor answered the door. Once again Syaoran pushed the doorbell and still no answer. I'm beginning to think that nobody is home and was just wasting our time standing in here looking like idiots.  
  
"Great nobody is home, let's go." I turned around ready to leave when Li stopped me.  
  
"Wait, just one more time and if nobody answers it then we leave."  
  
"You are one stubborn man." I glared at him and returned at my usual place. Li pressed the doorbell for the third time. "I tell you there is no one going to..." I stopped because there was a click at the other side of the door. A woman dressed in jeans and black tank top greeted us with a death glare in her eyes. She has a black hair that reached to her knees and has eyes like Li, fiery amber.  
  
"Who the heck are you?" she spat angrily. Her gaze moved to Li and her eyes went wide then turned to angry slits. "Well if it isn't my perfect brother." She said with sarcasm. "What brought you to this dumpster? Wait, don't tell me our weak mom made you come here."  
  
"I came here on my own." I saw Li's jaw tensed up. "Happy birthday sis." He said as he showed her the cake he bought for her. Meiling just stared at the cake blankly then shut the door in our face. Li looked shocked at what she did and that irritate me. I banged on the door and Meiling came out once more.  
  
"Go away." Meiling was about to close the door when I stopped her.  
  
"That's not a good way to treat your guest." I said to her coldly. I was so angry at what she did that I want to punch her in the face but I restrained myself from doing so. "What is it to you, your just Syaoran's wanna be girlfriend." She said to me tauntingly. I was about to insult her more when Li's voice stopped me.  
  
"She is Sakura my friend and she is not a wanna be like those girls at HK. By the way, we just moved here in Japan so now you must expect a daily visit from us. Here is the cake I brought you. It's your favorite." Li said calmly but if you look at him closely he is starting to lose his patience.  
  
"If that's the case, expect a close door on your face because I'm not going to entertain you weaklings. As for the cake, you can give it to her." That's the last straw. Her insults to Li and me had to end. She is really cold and heartless.  
  
"No we bought it for you." Syaoran pulled a letter in his pocket. "I almost forgot, this is from Shou An." Meiling's eyes flickered for a second then her eyes turned cold one's more.  
  
"Go away and leave me alone."  
  
"Fine...if that's what you want." I said angrily. I turned to Syaoran. "Let's go home because coming here is a mistake. A big mistake." Just then Meiling raised her hand to slap me.  
  
Author's note  
  
Wow cliffhanger. I know how much you hate these things but it must be done.  
  
MEILING FANS OUT THERE: I'M SORRY SHE'S SO MEAN AT THIS STORY. DON'T BE MAD BECAUSE SHE PLAYS A MAJOR PART IN HELPING SAKURA OUT. IN SHORT SHE IS NOT A VILLAIN.  
  
What do you think will happen next? Sakura and Meiling would have a catfight. Syaoran will stop Meiling Sakura will not be slapped. Syaoran will give Meiling a chocolate and she will say Thank you Syaoran. I love you.  
  
Sai-chan: Hope you like it! Tnx 4 reviewing. Wake-robin: I got a feeling that your wish would come true soon. Sally: You would be receiving a good gift from me since your review made me happy. Sweet-captor: Aww shucks I thought I was me. Just joking. Hanajima: Hmmm...since there are so many of you that keep on requesting that...well let's just see. Carzygurl: tnx for the cinnamon. AnimeObssessionFantasy: Tnx again. Xxx. 


	12. Smile for me

Chapter 10: Smile for me

I closed my eyes and waited for the painful sting on my left cheek when nothing happened. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw Li's hand on Meiling's wrist with an angry look on his face. He looks like a different person, it's like he is not the man I met at the park. He is not the man who always gives me a smile during my dark hours and never gave up on me. That thought scares me the most. I wanted to tell him to stop but my mouth wouldn't move an inch. I felt like my body is frozen in time.

"Don't you even dare..." He said quietly. The way he said it can make a strong man tremble in fear but Meiling suddenly smirked taking no heed to his cold voice.

"Why my dear brother? I thought she is just your friend so why do you care about her so much?" she said snidely. Li's eyes widened at her questions. I did not notice the blush that stained his cheeks when Meiling spoke once more.

"If I didn't know better, you like this manipulative freak who is only after your money." Meiling laughed coldly suddenly Li slapped her very hard. "You spoiled brat! How dare you!" Meiling snapped angrily as she clutched her cheek.

His messy bangs covered his eyes so nobody could see his pain and guilt. "You deserve it." He said without feeling.

Why is he standing up for me? Why is he acting like this? I am so confused and scared. I should not have opened my big mouth. I should not have let my pride get the better of me. If it weren't for me none of this would had happened.

"No she deserve it for butting in somebody's business. She doesn't belong to this family so she has no right so open her pretty mouth just to say stupid things." Meiling has a point in there.

"You're right." I said silently. "I don't have any right in meddling at your problems. Just like, you have no right to hurt Syaoran." I did not notice that I said Li's first name in front of them. Li's eyes widened and slowly he smiled at me. He...he just smiled. Could it be that he's back? I looked at him again just to check and yes, he is back. I wanted to smile but I can't because I know I have no right to do that after what I had done to him.

"So what, he deserve it just like you." Meiling smirked at us. "I would like to ask you..." Meiling said to me "Are you that desperate and sick, that you befriend everyone who comes your way?" I already knew that fact but why does it hurt so much. I already know that I don't deserve to be close to someone because I would hurt and leave them in the end but why does it hurt? Why? Is this my fate?

"Meiling stop this!" Li said in a cold and hurt voice. However, Meiling brushed it off as if it was nothing. Li stood in front of me like an angel ready to fight my demons.

"Why can't you answer such a simple question? Why does the truth hurt?" Meiling feigned a shock face and looked at me mockingly. She continued her tirade even if Li is standing in front of her. "Wait...you are a sick manipulative person. Well, the truth is I don't care if you befriend this traitor because he needs it badly. Too bad your going to leave him soon because everyone does."

"You've changed a lot." Li said silently. "I feel like I don't know you anymore, in fact I feel like you are not my sister anymore. My sister is kind and cheerful unlike you. You are just like a stone. Shou-an would be saddened if he could see you now."

Confusion, anger, and regret flashed in her cold face. "Shou-an?" tears began to form in her eyes. "You bastard...go away." She said silently. "I said LEAVE!!!!" she pushed us and shut the door in our faces. Li banged on the door calling Meiling's name.

"Meiling is dead! Don't you ever dare to come back here because I hate you!" Meiling screamed through the door. Li closed his eyes and clenched his fist. I kept on blaming myself at that time. At times like this, I wished that I could disappear but that won't be too long for now. Meiling is a cold-hearted woman. Syaoran put his arm around my shoulders as he led me towards the car. Once I was inside the car, my dam broke out as my tears continued to flow like a river. I just couldn't take it anymore, everything that Meiling said is right. I went off the car and took off running like there's no tomorrow. I am such a fool to believe that there is still hope. I am such a fool to believe that people need friends and family to live and survive. I am such a fool to believe Li. Li must have hate me right now because of the scene I made earlier. I acted like a fool for butting in their business, which is not my problem.

I didn't know where I was. The place is full of people rushing at the street on where I stood. I looked at my watch and saw its 6:00 pm, rush hour. People kept on bumping and pushing me eager to get home early. I lost my footing and fell flat on my face but you know what I don't care. I don't care if there is a scratch on me or if my dress is all muddy. Days, months, or even years from now I will just be a wind that will pass through them, a wind that nobody would notice nor care.

I noticed a hand stretched out to me. I looked up and saw Li's face full of relief and something I couldn't figure out. Would I take it or not? I kept staring at his hand as if I was expecting something to come out. Suddenly I could not control my body as my hand reached out t him. The moment our hands met, I realized how warm his hands are and how small my hands are to his grasp. After that, he pulled me to a warm embrace as if he is scared I would vanish.

"Don't run away from me again. Please." His voice was soft from his pleading and...scared. Why?

"Why?"

"I thought you're going to leave me and I don't want that because...because you mean a lot to me...you're...the only friend I have." If I listened hard, I would hear him stuttering the last phrase. I felt happy and disappointed at the same time.

"I thought you would hate me after what I did earlier. I am so ashamed at myself for acting like a meddlesome person. I didn't know what came over me...I just got mad at her for saying those things at you...I mean at us but...I figured out she was right... I'm a sick..." Great I'm babbling nonsense. However, Li interrupted me by looking at me in the eye.

"Don't you ever believe everything my sister said to you. She is just not her self when she said those things. Besides, I don't think you are that kind of person because you are more to that." What does he mean by that? That question plagued my mind until Li brought me home and left with an unexplained smile.

"I look like a pink hippo in this dress." Tomoyo said smugly in front of her mirror.

"For the sixth time, you look fine." Eriol said.

"I don't know...maybe I should try the purple shirt." Tomoyo said twirling around the mirror checking her out. Tomoyo wore a pink spaghetti strapped dress that hung on her curves. Today she wore her hair in a high ponytail. Eriol sat beside the mirror with a look of controlled blank face. It took all his willpower not to drool in front of her. He wore a green turtle neck shirt with black pants.

"If you do that Syaoran might be running out of ideas on why he brought her there. As far as I know, Syaoran is the worst liar ever to walk in this planet and if Syaoran told her she's meeting you there "unexpectedly"...well...umm...let's just say Syaoran should know how to handle a raging wind." Eriol said in a bored tone. "One more thing, I love the way you look today so don't change it." Tomoyo blushed at his comment.

"Are you feeling fine?" Tomoyo checked his temperature to know if he has fever. "You seem okay...why the sudden change of mood?" Tomoyo asked still blushing. Eriol too is also blushing.

"Well I just feel like it...besides, you always look good in anything you wear." Eriol answered while looking away. "We have to go, Syaoran might be waiting for us." Eriol quickly changed the subject; however, the blush remained on his cheeks. However, Tomoyo stopped Eriol.

"If...if things get ugly and everything doesn't work out, could you stay by my side." Tomoyo said with uncertainty and fear in her eyes.

"I'll always be by your side, even if you still don't need and think of me anymore. That is a promise." Eriol said with a sad smile.

"Tell me again, why are we here?" I asked Syaoran for the third time.

"I want to show you something." Syaoran said mysteriously

"You know what Li, you are the most irritating person I ever knew."

"Syaoran." Syaoran said simply.

"Huh?" I said dumbly.

"Call me Syaoran...Li is too formal." He said while looking behind me. "Besides you've done it before." I felt myself blush at what he said.

"Okay Syaoran, could you please tell me what are we really doing at Penguin Park?" he just smiled sheepishly at me.

"A bird told me I have to take you out from your room because you clearly need a scenery change."

I knew it, he has gone nuts after that work he has done at his office. I got restless for days after he didn't call or show his face after he dropped me off from Meiling's house. I secretly waited for him to arrive and when he does, he looks so tired. The Syaoran in front of me is different from the Syaoran I secretly waited by my window. He looks happy and relaxed.

"Do you want some cola?" he suddenly asked me.

"Sure." Syaoran went off to buy some drinks. I still don't know why Syaoran brought me here. He must have a good reason about it and I am bound to find it out. I sat at the bench and watched the children play. Tomoyo. I felt someone sat beside me. I just ignored her thinking it might be one of the mother who like to watch her child play and have fun.

"My best-friend and I used to play in here. I used to be a crybaby back then but my best-friend always stick by me and offer me her beautiful smile." That voice, I know that voice.

"Tomoyo?" Questions began to run through my mind. Like, why is she here? How did she know I am here? Question like that and more. I just sat there speechless in front of her.

"Well last I checked, that's my name." She said jokingly. Soon enough I found my voice.

"Why?" I asked her and she just shrugged at me. Silence dawned on us. The only sound you can hear are the children's laughing. Tomoyo suddenly sighed and looked at me.

"I came here to tell you I'm sorry." Sorry is not the word I expected to hear from her. "I didn't know that you feel that way. I am so sorry I am so selfish but what can I do you are the first person that treated me like a real person and made me a friend. Eversince, you left I felt like I lost a sister and it's all because of me. I am not expecting you to forgive me but I just wanted you to know that. I wanted to thank you for being a great best-friend and a sister I never knew." Tomoyo stopped for a while to look at me, "Good-bye."

I don't understand...why is she saying all of these things when I should be the one who should be saying those things. I am the one who is selfish not her. I am the one who doesn't understand. I am the wrong one here. I am so angry with myself. How could I think that everyone would be happy if I left?

"I don't understand." I said aloud. Tomoyo stopped to look at me questioningly. "I don't understand why you have to be so naïve and stupid. I should be the one who should say everything you said to me not you. I'm the one who hurt you not the opposite way." I bowed my head unable to look at her anymore. "I just don't understand...but you know what," I gather up my courage to look at her once more, "that is the reason why I chose you to become my best-friend because you're you." Tomoyo rushed to me and hugged me. "I'm so sorry." I said softly. I didn't notice the tears that runs through my face all I know is that I have my best-friend back.

"I'm so glad your back Sakura." Tomoyo said through her tears.

"So do you think they've patch it all up?" Eriol said while sipping coke. They are walking around the park to give Sakura and Tomoyo some space. Syaoran didn't reply to him for he too shared the same feeling as Eriol at that time. "Fine be that way!" Eriol began to sulk then an evil grin came to his face. "Since it's just the two of us, why don't we have a man-to-man talk?"

"No thank you." Syaoran said silently. "Let's go this way." Syaoran points at the other side of the road that leads to the Penguin Park.

"I thought you wouldn't ask." Eriol said with a knowing smile.

"You are so lucky." Tomoyo suddenly said to me.

"Why?"

"Because you have a guardian angel who cares for you even though you didn't know it." An angel...for me? Who could that be? As I sat in there I saw an image of the fields with a man dressed in white who stood beside a large cherry blossom tree. I couldn't see his face but his eyes. His eyes have a wonderful shade of amber just like...Syaoran. Suddenly Tomoyo pulled me out of my reverie.

"Look it's Eriol." I saw Eriol with Syaoran walking straight toward us.

"Sakura I would like you to meet my cousin..." Eriol pointed to Syaoran.

"He's your cousin?"

"I seem to forget to tell her." Syaoran smiled sheepishly. So that explains everything.

"I'm starting to think why am I related to you." Eriol said flatly.

"Don't be like that...you're embarrassing yourself." Syaoran said jokingly. Soon enough, everyone started to laugh except me. I just couldn't get my mind off on what I saw earlier. Syaoran has the same eyes with the guy in my dream. Could it be?

A wind blew at us that brought the petals of cherry blossoms in our view. I slowly smiled while looking at Syaoran. Like magic, he turned to look at me. I wish I had a camera right now and cherish the happiness in Syaoran's face. "At last, you smiled." He said softly to me.

AN:

I AM SO SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE STORY TODAY BUT I WAS RUSHING IT JUST FOR YOU GUYS. MY PROFFESOR REALLY BITES THESE PAST FEW WEEKS, HE KEEPS ON GIVING US QUIZZES, REPORTS, REASEARCH, AND OUT THIS WORLD PROJECTS. THAT IS THE REASON WHY IT TOOK ME SOOOO LONG TO FINISH THIS UP. SORRY...SORRY...SORRY!!!!!

By the way, the thanks for all who reviewed my last chapter.


	13. Syaoran Li's Secret

Chapter 11: Syaoran Li's Secret

The room is fairly large for a single person to sleep in but to the Li family is just only normal for them to have that kind of room. Unlike all the men who normally kept their room messy, Syaoran's room is different. In fact of a piece of dirty clothing could be found in his maroon carpeted floor. A large mahogany armoire could be seen across his king size bed which is fixed neatly with an olive silk blanket draping on it. Adjacent to the bed is his study table with a lamp and neatly arranged books. Beside the table is where Syaoran sat on his widow sill that overlook Sakura's house. He is smiling while he is looking at her house. The way he smiles could make a lot of girls drool at first look. He is been that way since he came home and nothing could wipe it off his face, or so he thought. A knock came from his door ad Shiefa came in with a tray with a pill and a glass of water on top of it.

"You forgot that it's already half past eight and you forgot to take these." Shiefa said to him in mock anger.

"I'm sorry." Syaoran said and took the pill and the water and drank it. Shiefa took the glass of water from Syaoran's hands and place it in the table.

"Sakura seems different today just like someone I know who can't stop smiling ever since he went home." Shiefa said jokingly. Syaoran raised his eyebrows at her. "Just joking. I haven't got a chance to talk to you ever since you started working. I just miss my little Xiaolang." Shiefa said while she ruffled his messy hair.

"Big sister! Stop it I'm not a kid anymore." Syaoran said while laughing.

"You're really not a kid anymore…everyday you look and act like papa. However, something is missing." Shiefa said fondly while looking at Syaoran in trance-like state.

"What is it?" Syaoran asked curiously. Shiefa snapped out of her trance

"Don't mind what I said, so tell me everything that had happened these past few weeks, I heard you brought Sakura with you at Shibuya to meet Meiling." Shiefa said as she took a seat beside Syaoran.

"Yeah…a lot had happened at that time, both good and bad." Syaoran said with a faraway look.

"Let me guess, Meiling practically shove to your faces how pathetic and worthless you are?" Shiefa stopped and sighed sadly. "Meiling sure has changed. I hope you can help her soon because mama is getting depressed as each passing day."

"I don't know if I can do it, now that Shou An is isn't here anymore." Syaoran said in a defeated tone.

"I know you can. Why do you think a lot of people always look up to you?"

"Please stop lying to me. I know now why people look up at me it's because I'm rich and smart beyond my age." Syaoran said sadly.

"What about the friends you have back Hong Kong?" Shiefa asked trying to convince Syaoran he's wrong.

"Them?" he smiled sadly. "They are just after our money. All my life I haven't had a real friend except for Eriol, and you guys but that is not enough…"

"As if they could never complete your life." Shiefa finished for Syaoran. "I know that feeling."

"But you know what, I think I already found what am I searching for here at Tomoeda. A great friend." Syaoran said with a smile as he remembered what had happened after Meiling shove them out.

_Sakura took off the car and lost herself in the crowd. I don't know what is this feeling I feel right now, but one thing is for sure, it is scaring me. I got out of my car and started to look for her. Sadness, desperation, frustration and fear build up all at once inside my heart. I am confused as to why am I feeling this way just because she left. The only person who treated me for who I am is gone and it's all because of me. I could never forgive myself if something bad had happened to her. I started praying to God and just then I saw her on her knees. I immediately thank God and run to her side. I held out my hand to her to help her. When she accepted my hand I noticed how small and warm her hand is. At that time I was so scared that I blurted out the first words that came into my mind. _

"_Don't run away from me again. Please." _

"_Why?" she asked_

"_I thought you're going to leave me and I don't want that because...because you mean a lot to me...you're...the only friend I have."_

"You really like Sakura, don't you?" Syaoran snapped out of his trance with a blush staining his cheeks.

"Who?" Syaoran said innocently

"I don't know you tell me. I'm just talking to the wind in here." Shiefa said sarcastically. Syaoran just glared playfully at her. It wasn't too long before Syaoran became quiet once more. Shiefa just looked at him with a smile on her face. 'My naive little brother.' Shiefa thought silently.

"Am I crazy?" Syaoran suddenly asked out-of-the-blue.

"What?" Shiefa was taken aback at what he asked that she was still thinking over what he just said.

'I think that is a wrong way to ask. Wait, why am I asking her such an embarrassing question? Me and my big mouth.' Syaoran said to his mind. "Never mind."

"No…I was just surprised that's all. What made you think like that?" Shiefa said trying to control her laughter. Syaoran glared at her so he decided to ignore her. 'I wonder why Fanren said to me that Shiefa is the best person to go to for advice?' Syaoran thought annoyed for listening to Fanren's suggestion.

"I'm sorry." Shiefa said trying really hard not to laugh. "It's just that what you said earlier is really…bizarre." When Shiefa saw Syaoran glared at her while his face could be compared to a ripe tomato, she laughed really hard.

'This is embarrassing.' Syaoran thought to himself. Shiefa's laughter subsides but she is still grinning.

"Sorry…but what makes you say that you have a loose screw in that thick skull of yours?" Syaoran just ignored her while he is looking outside. "Well…if you don't want to tell so be it. I will not be the one whose going to be tortured tonight because I couldn't solve a pure simple question." Shiefa said tauntingly as she slowly took the tray and go out to the room. "No…I am going to sleep like a baby tonight coz' I don't have any worries in my life. Well, I have to go…"

"Wait!" Syaoran shouted to Shiefa. Shiefa smirked while on her back to Syaoran. She turned around with an innocent smile on her face. "Okay." Syaoran said in a defeated tone. 'I am going to regret this.' Syaoran said to himself.

"Well?" Shiefa said excitedly as she returned to his room.

"I…I don't know what came over me these past few weeks. Ever since I met Sakura I…I feel like…like I don't know. I know it is impossible to get that too close to a person whom you just only met for only a few days…or is it weeks? Ah who cares! But do you know what, I feel like I've known Sakura all my life…" Syaoran said while pacing around his room.

"Syaoran." Shiefa said calmly but Syaoran just ignored her.

"…That is really weird. I even started dreaming about her ever since we came here…"

"Xiaolang." Shiefa said a little more loudly but still Syaoran didn't hear her.

"I always want to smile whenever she's around and…"

"XIAOLANG LI, STOP!" Shiefa shouted at Syaoran, which made him, stop talking. Shiefa breathed a sigh of relief once he stopped talking. "Thank you." Shiefa just looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "From all the blabbing you've done a while ago…I say you really are losing it…" Syaoran eyes widen and were about to open his mouth when Shiefa beat him to it. "…But that is just normal in your case. All I can say is that Sakura will be playing a big part in your life. By the way have you told her yet?" Silence seems to envelope the whole room.

"No. I kind of lied to her" Syaoran replied simply.

"That secret will be the cause of the rift in your future if you are not going to tell it." Shiefa said sadly.

"Please speak in my language."

"No way…I'll leave it to you to understand but be sure to tell her soon before somebody does."

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Syaoran said with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Maybe. Well, I have to go." Shiefa picked up the tray and was about to leave when she suddenly remembered something. "Oh yeah, mama wants to talk to you tomorrow morning."

"Did she tell you why?" Syaoran asked.

"No, she just told me to sent for you. Well I have to go, goodnight." With that Shiefa left Syaoran alone with his thoughts to Sakura. Syaoran returned to his place before Shiefa came in.

"Sakura what are you doing to me?" He said while gazing at her house. 'I don't know why I put so much fuss just because I saw you smile even though I know it's not for me. I don't know why I was so scared when I saw you standing at the bridge looking empty. I don't know why I am so hell bent on helping you. I don't know why I always feel warm and happy inside whenever you are near. I don't know why is it that whenever I can't see you I feel incomplete. So many questions but I know all will be fine. I just hope you can forgive me for lying to you.' An image of a smiling Sakura is what he saw while staring at her house.

…………

Sakura is staring into nothing while clutching her teddy bear. "Tomoyo and Eriol are up to something, don't they Kero."

"_At last, you smiled." _

_What he said to me made me smile even wider. Tomoyo turned to look at me and started to run to me when she saw me smile. _

"_What?" I asked innocently with a smile still on my face. Without warning Tomoyo pulled me in a bear hug. _

"_I thought I would never see you smile again." _

"_It would be hard not to after you got your best friend back." I know that was half the truth but I would die if someone knows the whole truth._

"_Really?" Tomoyo said with a glint of mischief in her eye. She turned to look at Syaoran then to Eriol. Once Eriol saw the glint in Tomoyo's eyes, Eriol's eyes ere now hidden and there is a cat-like smile on his lips. A smirk on those two means trouble and it's scaring me. _

"_If that is what you want to say Sakura-chan." Eriol said to me._

"_Hey, stop picking on her." Syaoran said to Eriol once he saw Eriol's cat-like smile. Eriol just smiled at him while Syaoran just glared at him. They both look so childish that I couldn't help but laugh. They both stopped arguing at the sound of my laugh and soon all of us are laughing._

"It sure do feels nice to smile and laugh again, isn't it Kero?" I know it's childish but I can't help it. "I don't know why but I owe it all to my angel." I said while playing with Kero. "Oh, I haven't told you yet who he is. His name is Syaoran Li. It suits him perfectly." A smile is slowly forming in my lips. "My disguised angel." A knock interrupted me from my thoughts.

"Come in." I said. My mom and dad came in with a smile in their faces. They just stood there looking at me. "What is it? Am I in trouble?" I asked slowly.

"Yes, young lady." dad said jokingly.

"Fujitaka!" Mom scolded. Dad just smiled sheepishly at her.

"What! Can't all of you take a joke?" mom just glared at him while dad just sweat dropped. "Haha… sorry Sakura. The truth is we just dropped by and see how are you doing." They're the best parents a girl could ever have and I'm blessed to have them both. I slowly smiled at them and told them how happy I felt today. When I look at them I notice the changes in their faces. They look so young, so full of life, so happy, compared to these past few weeks.

We all talked and laughed about anything under the sun and it feels great to be like this, no worries.

"I really hate to do this but let's call it a night. I still have work tomorrow and you young lady have school tomorrow." Dad said.

"Let's do this again tomorrow, okay?" Mom asked.

"Sure and maybe tomorrow we could talk about…"

"The young man named Syaoran Li." Mom suddenly said. I slowly felt my face heating up at the mere mention of his name.

"MOM!"

"Sorry." Both of the laughed while I'm blushing like there's no tomorrow. We both said our goodnights and left me alone to dream about a man with mysterious amber eyes.

…………….

Knock Knock

"Come in.," a soft commanding voice said behind the mahogany door. Syaoran came in silently and went toward the balcony the overlook the mini garden behind their house. A lady dressed in an elegant Chinese robe sat at the balcony.

"You called for me?" Syaoran asked his mother. Yelan Li, Syaoran's mother, turned her head to look at her son. She has a sad yet beautiful face, black hair pulled in a ponytail, creamy face, red lips, and sorrowful amber eyes.

"Is there any news about your sister?" Syaoran inwardly flinch not knowing what to do. He is thinking of whether to lie or tell the truth to his mother. Yelan sighed sadly and turned to look back at the empty garden. "I know your not going to tell the truth to me right now."

Syaoran put his right hand at his mother's shoulder. "Mom, Meiling is a strong and independent woman. I'm sure someday she will come back to us. So, please stop worrying so much about her because dad will be angry at me if he saw you like that." Yelan touched her son's hand and smiled at him.

"Everyday you look and act just like your father. If he can see you right now, I'm sure he will be proud of you as much as I am. "

……………

Today I woke up with a feeling of something big is going to happen and I don't know if I could handle it. I took a bath and went downstairs to have my breakfast and went outside to go to school. As I am approaching the university, the feeling of dread is getting stronger inside me. Maybe I am just paranoid but when I got in the university grounds everyone is looking at me with pity in their eyes. What's wrong with these people? Tomoyo came rushing to me with Eriol behind her.

"Sakura, we don't know how it happened but everyone knows." Tomoyo said to me. How…why…who…? Questions are running inside my head until all I could see is darkness and nothing else.

Author's Note:

Okay sorry if that took so long. I ran out of ideas of what to do next. This reason why this chapter is so short is because of a big surprise I will do for the next two chapters!

**AnimeObsessionFantasy** – hmmm…would it really last? Do you know the saying "A calm before the storm"?

**Sora**- Wow…I have no idea my story made you that…well I made this chapter a light drama to prepare you for the next chapters…buy a dozen of tissues. Hehehe…just joking.

Sweet-captor- WAIIII…KAWAII…ISN'T IT!!!!

**Natsuyo**- since you ask so nicely…I hope you like this chapter. The reason why there are few Syaoran parts is because he is supposed to be an enigma, a mystery, and a puzzle. However, you've helped me a lot in making this chapter because the truth is I really have no idea what to put in this chapter. THANK YOU!

**Serenity's Blaim** – wow a Syaoran fanatic! I agree with him being cute especially when he smiles or glares or serious…. WAIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!


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